Wk.24- Bare Bones Backspin

Backspin is bare-boned.

Carl sad. Carl always sad when Kim hurt. And Kim hurt all the time now. First shoulder and wrist. Then ankle and toe. (Carl told Jada to tell mother no go to wedding, but she probably forgot... or no hear Carl above her screams of delight at seeing Carl again.) Now foot in Netherlands and no play Wimbledon. Carl know Todd think mean Kim maybe not play at all in 2012 because so many hurts, but Carl know Todd stupid Homo sapien and not evolve like Carl. He just want Kim to fail and MAKE CARL ANGRY!!!!!!!!!

Carl hate Todd, and Carl hate players he like.

So Carl have fun on Saturday watching players Todd like lose in finals. Hahahaha. Carl use mind to squish Jelena and Petra, and Carl one day use to squish Todd, too. Then squish more with fists. Then squish more with club. Then eat and chew up and spit back out, then squish with feet. Then-

FIRE!!!!!!!!!!

(silence)

Sorry. Carl mistaken. Was no fire. Was just sun coming out from behind cloud. Pardon Carl. Carl just trying to stay out of way of French villagers who follow Carl from Paris to London. They chase Carl out of France last month with pitchfoks and torches. Carl... hate... torches. Carl no HAVE to go, but he no want to hurt innocent people so he leave in peace. Carl patience tested, though. Carl maybe have to return to violent ways of past if Todd continue to try to hire people to hound Carl.

Carl coming to America this summer, though. Away from villagers... and close enough to Todd to maybe get chance to see face when squish him.

Hopefully, one day Carl get back to chateau, also. Want pictures of Kim left there, and napkin she use at sidewalk cafe before Roland Garros. Carl hoping to treat Jada to strawberries and cream in London, but have to wait for next year... when Kim come to play Wimbledon AND Olympics.

No matter what Todd might say he think later.

*WEEK 24 CHAMPIONS*
EASTBOURNE, ENGLAND (Premier $618K/grass)
S: Marion Bartoli def. Petra Kvitova 6-1/4-6/7-5
D: Peschke/Srebotnik d. Huber/Raymond
's-HERTOGENBOSCH, NETHERLAND (Int'l $220K/grass)
S: Roberta Vinci def. Jelena Dokic 6-7/6-3/7-5
D: Zahlavova-Strycova/Zakopalova d. Cibulkova/Pennetta


PLAYER OF THE WEEK: Marion Bartoli/FRA
...Marion no win title since Stanford '09. Get three Top 10 wins in Eastbourne. Even if Azarenka retire in QF, Stosur play like elephant dung in SF and Kvitova in Final streaky as Carl after licking yummy toads, Bartoli deserve clapping. Carl remember she reach Wimbledon final once after beat Justine. Make Todd upset then. So make Carl happy.
=============================
RISERS: Petra Kvitova/CZE & Daniela Hantuchova/SVK
...Kvitova so up and down in Eastbourne final that Carl think Todd probably want to hit head in wall. If he no do, Carl do for him when see him. Standing offer forever, by way. Daniela beat Chinese Zheng and Li, but still hungry for win over Venus in Eastbourne QF. (Get? Carl overhear joke while hiding... err, lurking in shadows of bar alley in London and think can use here. Hope funny like George Lopez.) She retire in SF with abdo.. adbom... she quit with stomach muscle injury. Hope no ruin chance for really good result at Wimbledon.
=============================
SURPRISE: Romina Oprandi/ITA
...grrrrr. Carl have anger for Romina. Carl all right with her qualifying in Netherlands and beating Amanmuradova and Kimiko D-K. But Carl mad that she beat Kim to reach second SF of career! Romina retire in SF, though. Made Carl feel a little better... even if was against Dokic.
=============================
COMEBACK: Venus Williams/USA
...Todd always talk of Venus at Wimbledon, so Carl no know what think here. He like V, but not if Todd like. In Eastbourne, she play for first time since Australian Open. She get wins over Petkovic and Ivanovic to reach QF. Enough for award, but not Carl smile.
=============================
VETERANS: Roberta Vinci/ITA & Jelena Dokic/AUS
...Todd think JD have chance to win Netherlands since Kim gone. Once again, he wrong. Close, though. Thankfully, Carl mind took care of things. Instead of win second title of year, she lose WTA final for first time since '03 in Zurich to Justine. Rain in 2nd set stop momentum, then many bad-time double-faults in 3rd set do her in down stretch. Instead, Vinci win #2 title of 2011 by beating her in final. Italian win mean eight tour titles this season won by players 28 years or more. Dokic recently turn 28, too, so was assured anyway. But at least Todd no happy as could have been.
=============================
FRESH FACES: Bojana Jovanovski/SRB & Luksika Kumkhum/THA
...Jovanovski qualify in Eastbourne, get win over Riske. Then upset Pavly-Russian girl in main draw. She could play Serena in 2nd Round at Wimbledon. Carl mention Kumkhum, too, after she win $10K challenger in Pattaya. 17-year old ranked #368, and is third ITF title this year. She 24-4 on season.
=============================
DOWN: Kim Clijsters/BEL & Victoria Azarenka/BLR
...Kim no have good week, but Carl no want get into it more. After Carl look out for Jada on street in Paris, Kim hug her and promise Carl he get quality time with family when she visit Japan after U.S. Open, so Carl sure feel better then after she win another U.S. Open. Carl get her flowers. Azarenka retire again in Eastbourne with thigh strain. It her fourth quit in last eight events She do six times in 2010. Vika give Carl headache, and he not even hit head on ceiling for days.
=============================
ITF PLAYER: Timea Babos/HUN
... 18-year old win sixth career ITF in $25K Astana event. Beat Tadeja Majeric in final. She only 5-7 in '11 before last week, but win five in row now. Timea say Dementieva favorite player. Carl like Elena. So Carl like Timea. Also, her last name same as friend Carl "accidentally" destoy when he take bite of Carl food when teenagers. Carl miss Babos. Like brother. Sigh.
=============================
JUNIOR STAR: Victoria Bosio/ARG
... 17-year old win Gerry Weber Open Grade 2 grass event in Halle, Germany. She #15 junior in world.
=============================


1. East Final - Bartoli d. Kvitova
...6-1/4-6/7-5. Bartoli lead 6-3/3-1, then Kvitova turn on and Carl worry Todd be happy. Then Kvitova have break point for 4-2 in 3rd, but no get it. Then she double-fault away next game and DOWN 5-3 after Bartoli hold. She break Bartoli when Marion serve at 5-4, but too many errors no let her keep control. Todd no happy. So Carl very happy.
=============================
2. East 2nd Rd. - Zvonareva d. S.Williams
...3-6/7-6/7-5. Serena serve 5-4 in 2nd, but double-fault to break self. VZ up 5-2 in 3rd, but almost let slip away. Vera win on 4th match point in Wimbledon '10 final rematch. Still good work for Serena before slam.
=============================
3. Neth Final - Vinci d. Dokic
...6-7/6-3/7-5. Carl hard to believe this first time these two meet in singles, but is true. Dokic six double-faults in 3rd set. Again, Todd no happy. Carl make in pants.
=============================
4. Neth 2nd Rd. - Oprandi d. Clijsters
...7-6/6-3. Carl no comment. Carl willing to massage Kim foot, though. Carl put Brian in trunk for safekeeping if she like.
=============================
5. East QF - Hantuchova d. V.Williams
...6-2/5-7/6-2. Like Serena, still good work for Venus. Only Wimbledon matter.
=============================
6. Neth 2nd Rd. - Kuznetsova d. Errani
...3-6/7-6/6-1. Errani serve for match at 5-4 in 2nd, but Kuznetsova win. She still lose next match. Carl no surprised.
=============================
7. East 1st Rd. - S.Williams d. Pironkova
...1-6/6-3/6-4. Serena first match since Wimbledon '10. Pironkova defeat Venus and reach Wimbledon semi last year. Carl almost forget that. Pironkova ranking soon take big fall.
=============================
8. East QF - Bartoli d. Azarenka
...6-2/2-0 ret. Marion assured win title after this one since anyone who beat Vika ALWAYS end up with title. This six time in row that player beat her won title in her last eight tournaments. In other two, Vika win title.
=============================
9. East Doubles QF - Huber/Raymond d. Black/Peer
...7-6/6-0. Huber get some I-told-so revenge against Cara.
=============================
10. East Doub Final - Peschke/Srebotnik d. Huber/Raymond
...6-3/6-0. Cara get last laugh. Just like Carl will with Todd.
=============================
HM- Neth 2nd Rd. - Wickmayer d. Peer
...7-6/6-7/7-5. Yanina swing and ball bounce off racket and hit face. Carl swing club at bee once and hit self in head. Hmmm, Carl never did finish physics problem he solving on cave wall that day.
=============================


**MOST WTA FINALS**
[2011]
7...Caroline Wozniacki (5-2)
4...PETRA KVITOVA (3-1)
3...Li Na (2-1)
3...Victoria Azarenka (2-1)
3...MARION BARTOLI (1-2)
3...Kim Clijsters (1-2)
2...ROBERTA VINCI (2-0)
2...JELENA DOKIC (1-1)
2...Daniela Hantuchova (1-1)
2...Andrea Petkovic (1-1)
2...Maria Sharapova (1-1)
2...Lucie Safarova (0-2)
[2009-11]
23...Caroline Wozniacki (8/8/7, 14-9)
10...Victoria Azarenka (3/4/3, 7-3)
9...Kim Clijsters (1/5/3, 7-2)
9...Vera Zvonareva (2/6/1, 4-5)
9...Venus Williams (5/4/0, 4-5)
9...Maria Sharapova (2/5/2, 4-5)
8...Elena Dementieva (4/4/retired, 5-3)
8...Dinara Safina (8/0/0, 3-5)
7...Serena Williams (4/3/0, 5-2)
6...PETRA KVITOVA (2/0/4, 4-2)
6...Svetlana Kuznetsova (4/1/1, 4-2)
6...Li Na (2/1/3, 3-3)
6...Francesca Schiavone (3/2/1, 3-3)
6...Flavia Pennetta (3/3/0, 3-3)
6...Jelena Jankovic (3/2/1, 3-3)
6...Samantha Stosur (2/3/1, 2-4)
6...MARION BARTOLI (3/0/3, 2-4)

**CAREER WTA TITLES - ACTIVE**
[SIX, last title year]
MARION BARTOLI, FRA (2011)
Jelena Dokic, AUS (2011)
Meghann Shaughnessy, USA (2007)
[FIVE, last title year]
Elena Daniilidou, GRE (2008)
Maria Kirilenko, RUS (2008)
Li Na, CHN (2011)
Alicia Molik, AUS (2005)
Shahar Peer, ISR (2009)
Agnes Szavay, HUN (2010)
ROBERTA VINCI, ITA (2011)

**2011 WTA FINALS on MOST SURFACES**
[THREE]
MARION BARTOLI - hard court, red clay, grass*
PETRA KVITOVA - hard court*, red clay*, grass
Caroline Wozniacki - hard court*, green clay*, red clay*
--
* - won title

**AZARENKA - LAST 8 TOURAMENTS**
Indian Wells - lost in QF/Wozniacki (Wozniacki won title)
Miami - won title
Marbella - won title
Stuttgart - retired in 2nd Rd./Goerges (Goerges won title)
Madrid - lost in Final/Kvitova (Kvitova won title)
Rome - retired in QF/Sharapova (Sharapova won title)
Roland Garros - lost in QF/Li (Li won title)
Eastbourne - retired in QF/Bartoli (Bartoli won title)

**MOST 2011 DOUBLES TITLES**
4...BARBORA ZAHLAVOVA-STRYCOVA
4...KATARINA SREBOTNIK (3 + 1 Mixed)
3...Iveta Benesova
3...Andrea Hlavackova
3...KVETA PESCHKE
3...Galina Voskoboeva

**CZECH-BORN PLAYERS IN EASTBOURNE FINAL**
[w/ Wimbledon result]
1977 Martina Navratilova (W)
1982 Martina Navratilova (W)
1983 Martina Navratilova (W)
1984 Martina Navratilova (W)
1985 Martina Navratilova (W)
1986 Martina Navratilova (W)
1987 Helena Sukova (QF)
1987 Martina Navratilova (RU)
1988 Martina Navratilova (RU)
1989 Martina Navratilova (RU)
1990 Martina Navratilova (W)
1991 Martina Navratilova (QF)
1993 Martina Navratilova (SF)
1997 Jana Novotna (RU)
1998 Jana Novotna (W)
2011 Petra Kvitova (????)
--
NOTE: Chris Evert (1974 & '76) twice won both Eastbourne and Wimbledon in same season



Carl Quiz: What this picture of?



Carl with number of Todd's "most-favored players" who won titles this week. Stupid knuckle-lifter. Carl know Todd probably thinking of way to keep some Carl words from post and interrupting Carl with words of own if Dokic and Kvito-

(crackly static)

Umm, I think I'll cut that part out. Todd here. You know -- as should he -- that I can't let Carl think he can do or say anything he wishes. He's right about one thing, though. I was going to co-opt a part of his "Bare Bones Backspin" duties if the finals turned out differently today. Well, at least if Dokic had won. I mean, there haven't been many opportunities over the years to revel in a great result from her, but another one almost popped up out of nowhere again this week. A few weeks ago, after her less-than-thrilling results after coming back from her latest injury/health-related hiatus from the tour, in the early spring a few weeks after she won the title in Kuala Lumpur, I would never have thought she might win another title before Wimbledon. She didn't, of course, as things -- you know, like her own serve -- sort of turned against her in the final in the Netherlands. But her post-match words make her seem in good spirits, she reached Saturday's final without dropping a set, and she DOES have a very interesting draw at Wimbledon. It could be that nothing comes of it in SW19 competition, but she seems confident and if she can just get a 1st Round upset of Schiavone -- a player she's never lost to in either junior or pro competition, going a combined 4-0 -- she's got the sort of draw that could make her a big slam story as the tournament hits its mid-way point. If she can just get out of the 1st Round, on Wednesday the 22nd she could celebrate the twelve-year anniversary of that upset of Hingis back in '99, then go about trying to recapture a bit of her old All-England Club magic.

As for Kvitova, as I was watching her nearly stage a great comeback against Bartoli, I was thinking that if she pulled it off before my eyes she might just have done enough to qualify for full membership in the "Most-Favored Player" Club. It didn't happen though. Not yet. But I'd say she's one big result from getting there. Maybe there's a reason for the wait, though. Mabye Jelena still has a few more things to do before even having to share a tiny bit of the club's membership benefits. Just a thought.

Anyway, back to you-know-who. (Not that he'll know that anything happened.)

(crackly static)

...and that's what I'm going to do to him when I finally catch him. After that, he never even think of editing Carl again. Thankfully, Carl smarter than Todd this week and he not get drop on Carl and prevent his real feelings from being made public.

Carl smarter than Todd. Carl pick Francesca to reach Roland Garros final. Todd no do. Carl know Todd mind, so he now pick Wimbledon in way that Todd never do. THE CORRECT WAY.




=QF=
Sharapova d. Wozniacki
Li d. Bartoli
Hantuchova d. Schiavone
Zvonareva d. Kvitova
=SF=
Li d. Sharapova
Zvonareva d. Hantuchova
=FINAL=
Li d. Zvonareva

...Carl still want pick Kim. Carl pick Na instead. Carl know Carl picks better than Todd's will be in Wimbledon preview.


Carl must go now. Think see fire again. And dark outside, so know not sun. Cheerio.