Wk.34- Bare Bones Backspin

Backspin is bare-boned.

[Editor's Note: First, here's a look at the start of Carl's rough draft -- and we're talking about Carl, so it was probably originally written with sticks and various tree saps, haha -- from this past Tuesday, at about 1:48pm Backspin HQ time.]

Carl mad. Carl always mad when Kim hurt. And Kim hurt all the time. First shoulder and wrist. Then ankle and toe. Then foot. Now stomach. Maybe Todd right about Kim's career not last-

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Todd NEVER RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!! Carl ALWAYS right!!!!!!!!!!!

Kim win Australia next year. Then Roland Garros. Then Wimbledon. Then Olympics. Carl tell Kim that he take medal and shove up Todd.

AGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

(stomp, stomp, stomp)

[Editor's Note: So, that 5.8 earthquake that struck the U.S. East coast at about 1:51 BHQT is now explained... just in case you were wondering about that. Anyway, after having his "writing" (yeah, right) interrupted, Carl came back this weekend to finish things up.]

As Carl was saying, Kim no win U.S. this year. No three pete... threepeat.... whatever. Carl hate made-up words almost as much as Carl hate Todd! She no win U.S. now, but Kim come back soon and join forces with Carl to finally take Todd down in 2012. Kim be all right until then. She "mom-up" and spend time with Jada. Carl have to visit sometime. Sure Jada miss him. Ahh, Carl long for Jada blood-curdling shrieks of delight when see Carl. Carl have way with children.

By way, who this "editor?" Carl think he want to kick where hurt. Is editor Todd in hiding? If so, Carl only have one future charge of person-squishing to deal with.

[Editor's Note: Now, now. Some "people"... they just can't get beyond their genes.]

Hey!!!!!!!!!!! Carl get you, editor!!!!!!!!!!

*WEEK 34 CHAMPIONS*
NEW HAVEN, CONNECTICUT USA (Premier $618K/hard outdoor)
S: Caroline Wozniacki def. Petra Cetkovska 6-4/6-1
D: Chuang/Govortsova d. Errani/Vinci
DALLAS, TEXAS USA (Int'l $220K/hard outdoor)
S: Sabine Lisicki def. Aravane Rezai 6-2/6-1
D: Brianti/Cirstea d. Cornet/Parmentier


PLAYER OF THE WEEK: Caroline Wozniacki/DEN
...I guess Todd right (Carl mad, just on principle) about old Pilot Pen needing to change name to Wozniacki Open instead of New Haven Open at Yale. Caro win fourth straight title there (she 17-0 career!) with wins over Hercog, McHale (after lost to in Cincinnati), Schiavone and Cetkovska. No lose set all week, get WTA-best sixth title of season. Even BF Rory McIlroy (and Piotr, keeping eye on things) there. Carl think Rory there because he worried about Yale football team time with GF. He no fill out jersey quite as well as real players (Carl would!!), but Caroline no seem mind.
=============================
RISER: Sabine Lisicki/GER
...Sabine get good at going into slams on high. Into Wimbledon after Birmingham title, and reach SF. Now win Dallas right before Open. Sabine destroy field like Carl rampaging through Backspin HQ looking for Todd. Never lose more than three games in any of five matches against Mirza, Brianti, K-Bond, Begu and Rezai. Sabine 22-4 since being carried out on stretcher in Paris.
=============================
SURPRISE: Petra Cetkovska/CZE
...Wozniacki win New Haven, but world #40 Cetkovska, 26, big revelation. Wimbledon 4th Round no fluke. Qualify for NH (def. Watson and CSN), then wins over Morita, A-Rad, Bartoli and Li (whew!) to reach first career final. Delays and Caroline affinity for Yale too much in final, but Carl now know next player Todd talk nice about because is Czech. (Carl roll eyes... and wonder when next Cavewoman tennis star is going to hit it big.)
=============================
COMEBACK: Aravane Rezai/FRA
...Rezai troubles off court all year. Carl offer counseling. Aravane no need. She work out by self. Qualify and wins over Rybarikova, Cirstea, Larsson and Kerber to reach first final since Bastad last year. Needed wild card to get into U.S. Open draw. Maybe won't need one for Melbourne.
=============================
VETERAN: Li Na/CHN
...no win New Haven, but play better than in months. Win over Kirilenko and Pavlyuchenkova, but lost SF in 11-9 3rd set tie-break (after saving four MP's) to Cetkovska. Good enough to have hope for U.S. and chance to joke on husband again.
=============================
FRESH FACE: Irina-Camelia Begu/ROU
...ICB another good week. Reach Dallas semi. Beat Parmentier, Dulko and Sevastova. In doubles final, too.
=============================
DOWN: Flavia Pennetta/ITA
...Flavia lose New Haven 1st Round to Klara Zakopalova. She 2-5 in last seven. Carl no like chances in New York. One of few things Carl agree with Todd.
=============================
ITF PLAYER: Victoria Kan/RUS
... 16-year old Russian TAKING OVER Jr/ITF circuit, say Carl. This week, world #816 win $10K Portschach challenger, defeating Diana Sumova in final. Uzbeki-born Kan qualify, then defeat #5, #3 and #1 seeds on way to title. Since July, she 21-1 in ITF play (2 titles) and 8-1 in junior (1 title).
=============================
JUNIOR STAR: Denise Starr/USA
... 16-year old from Brooklyn won USTA International Hardcourt (G4) title. Defeated Chalena Scholl in final. She also doubles runner-up.
=============================


1. NH Final - Wozniacki d. Cetkovska
...6-4/6-1. Carl nothing to do with Hurricane Irene time changes and match delays here. Carl like Caro chances in New York. Hint.
=============================
2. Dallas Final - Lisicki d. Rezai
...6-2/6-1. Carl like Sabine chances in New York. Hint.
=============================
3. NH 1st Rd - Vesnina d. Jankovic
...6-4/2-6/6-4. JJ on court when Carl shake earth with anger. Carl no surprised. Carl know Jelena share Carl pain that day... just different pain. She no like two-hour delay after stadium evacuation, but she get over it. Carl still in pain about Kim. Carl pain bigger than anyone's pain... just like Carl self is. Carl great. Rest just wish to be like Carl. Carl NEVER let that happen.
=============================
4. NH QF - Li d. Pavlyuchenkova
...6-4/3-6/6-2. Anastasia turn ankle here. Now have excuse for poor performance at Open? Carl wonder, what will Todd excuse be?
=============================
5. NH QF - Wozniacki d. McHale
...7-5/6-3. Caroline no let Christina push her around this time.
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HM- NH 1st Rd - McHale d. Kuznetsova
...7-5/6-3. But Christina have big moment earlier in week. She beat Sveta before in season, too. Sveta make Carl mad. She better than this. Carl hate waste. Especially of space... like Todd.
=============================


**2011 FIRST-TIME FINALISTS**
Bogota - Mathilde Johansson, FRA - #98, age 25 (lost to Dominguez-Lino)
Memphis - Rebecca Marino, CAN - #80, age 20 (lost to Rybarikova)
Marbella - Irina-Camelia Begu, ROU - #138, age 20 (lost to Azarenka)
Bad Gastein - Patricia Mayr-Achleitner, AUT - #109, age 24 (lost to Martinez-Sanchez)
Baku - Ksenia Pervak, RUS - #55, age 20 (lost to Zvonareva)
NEW HAVEN - PETRA CETKOVSKA, CZE - #40, age 26 (lost to Wozniacki)

**2011 BEST WIN PCT. IN FINALS - 2+**
100%...SABINE LISICKI, GER (2-0)
100%...Anabel Medina-Garrigues, ESP (2-0)
100%...Serena Williams, USA (2-0)
80%...Petra Kvitova, CZE (4-1)
75%...CAROLINE WOZNIACKI, DEN (6-2)
67%...Victoria Azarenka, BLR (2-1)
67%...Li Na, CHN (2-1)
67%...Vera Zvonareva, RUS (2-1)

**QUALIFIERS IN 2011 FINALS**
Irina-Camelia Begu, ROU - Marbella - lost to Azarenka
PETRA CETKOVSKA, CZE - NEW HAVEN - lost to Wozniacki
ARAVANE REZAI, FRA - DALLAS - lost to Lisicki

**DEFENDED TITLES IN 2011**
[singles]
Monterrey - Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova/RUS, 2010-11 champ
Copenhagen - Caroline Wozniacki/DEN, 2010-11 champ
NEW HAVEN - CAROLINE WOZNIACKI/DEN, 2008-11 champ
[doubles]
Dubai - Maria Jose Martinez-Sanchez/ESP, 2010-11 champ
Bogota - Edina Gallovits-Hall/ROU, 2010-11 champ
Monterrey - Iveta Benesova/Barbora Zahlavova-Strycova/CZE-CZE, 2010-11 champs
Bad Gastein - Lucie Hradecka/CZE, 2007-11 champ
Palermo - Sara Errani/ITA, 2010-11 champ

**LOW-RANKED 2011 FINALISTS**
#169 - Serena Williams / Stanford (W)
#138 - Irina-Camelia Begu / Marbella
#114 - ARAVANE REZAI / DALLAS
#109 - Patricia Mayr-Achleitner / Bad Gastein
#105 - Magdalena Rybarikova / Memphis (W)
#100 - Sabine Lisicki / Birmingham (W)

**MOST 2011 DOUBLES/MIXED TITLES**
6...Katarina Srebotnik, SLO (5/1)
5...Kveta Peschke, CZE (5/0)
4...Barbora Zahlavova-Strycova, CZE (4/0)
4...Iveta Benesova, CZE (3/1)
3...Sara Errani, ITA (3/0)
3...OLGA GOVORTSOVA, BLR (3/0)
3...Andrea Hlavackova, CZE (3/0)
3...Sania Mirza, IND (3/0)
3...Roberta Vinci, ITA (3/0)
3...Galina Voskoboeva, KAZ (3/0)






=QF=
Wozniacki d. Li
Azarenka d. Jankovic
Kvitova d. Sharapova
Lisicki d. Zvonareva
=SF=
Wozniacki d. Azarenka
Lisicki d. Kvitova
=FINAL=
Wozniacki d. Lisicki

...Carl still want pick Kim. Carl pick Caro instead.

=QF=
Djokovic d. Berdych
Federer d. Tsonga
Murray d. Soderling
Ferrer d. Gulbis
=SF=
Federer d. Djokovic
Murray d. Ferrer
=FINAL=
Federer d. Murray

...Carl no be sheep and pick Djokovic. Carl hate sheep. Hunt down in field for meat when hungry. No underestimate Federer. Just like Carl.


Carl must go now. Carl go look for "editor" and squish him. See ya.