Simply Irresistible: (Another) Birth of a Fake WTA Marketing Campaign
It’s that time again. Time for a new WTA “fake marketing campaign.” As I’ve noted for quite a while, the tour has been woeful beyond reason when it’s come to finding creative (let alone entertaining) ways to market the world’s top women’s professional sports organization, populated by some of the most recognizable faces in sport (female or otherwise), which usually sees its deep pool of talent and high level of competition hit its peak during the year’s very biggest events. It shouldn’t be *so hard* a task, but the WTA has generally seemed incapable of even a modest success when it’s come to highlighting the engines that make it go -- the athletes. After years of falling back on pretty pictures and dress-up photoshoots -- which weren’t bad in their own right, only repetitive after multiple campaigns, each one indistinguishable from the last -- the tour’s last two marketing campaign attempts have taken the angle of trying to inject a level of seriousness and purpose into the brand with its #ItTakesWTA and #WTAForTheGame slogans, two essentially interchangeable marketing pushes that told us that world class athletes value things like “courage” and “intensity” (we know because the campaigns literally connected a series of “strong” words -- such as “courage” and “intensity” -- to social media posts featuring individual players) and strive for success for reasons other than simply fame and money. Well, isn’t that special?
It takes bravery. #ItTakesWTA @WTA pic.twitter.com/TuMOGQ4sLh
— Johanna Konta (@JohannaKonta) May 13, 2019
Welcome to the new era of the @WTA. I play for the game and something much bigger than myself. I play for the Fight. #WTAForTheGame pic.twitter.com/8LufaWTvLW
— Petra Kvitova (@Petra_Kvitova) December 2, 2020
I suppose it’s an admirable, though dreadfully boring, way to go. But it’s hardly the sort of thing that would grow the appeal if the women’s game or pull in anyone who isn’t *already* watching the WTA tour. And isn’t breaking “beyond the bubble” the whole raison d'être for a marketing campaign in the first place? Both campaigns, as they should have, died quick deaths. The 2019 #ItTakes was so D.O.A. that by the end of that season the tour was already seeking a new campaign to replace it to be debuted in 2020. The pandemic delayed the launch of a full “rebrand” (which at least produced an upgraded tour logo) until December. The accompanying #ForTheGame marketing campaign was so bad -- even *worse* than #ItTakes, as hard as it was to imagine, even though or maybe *because* it was an identical campaign different in hashtag only -- that it immediately evaporated into the social media ether and was gone not only before the season began in January, but was essentially judged to be irrelevant mush by the end of the following weekend just a few days later. It was a record-setting disaster. Imagine, a marketing firm (Landor Australia) was actually contracted and compensated for such drivel. Of course, at this point, the fault likely has to be placed on the tour itself, which seems at a loss when it comes to selling a group of multi-generational players with an array of interesting personalities and backstories who often (without the tour lifting a finger) become viral social media stars (Hsieh Su-wei...hello), cultural and national inspirations, and even international conversation-starting figures (Serena, Naomi, etc.) all on their own. Not long after the tour’s latest marketing debacle, whether there was any actual link or not, this past January the WTA and ATP, in the tour’s own words, “transitioned to an integrated marketing operation, building on unprecedented collaboration between the tours over the past 18 months. Under the alignment, key leadership roles across social media, digital and branding are now responsible for maximizing engagement through joint storytelling and creating efficiencies on key projects. Collaboration across commercial and communications over the same period has further leveraged the unique appeal of both Tours.” The most recent result of ths collaboration is the “Tennis United: CrossCourt” project that “goes behind the scenes of life on tour through a series of intimate one-on-one conversations between WTA and ATP stars.”
An exclusive look into the world of tennis. Together.
— wta (@WTA) August 18, 2021
CrossCourt drops August 25th.#TennisUnited @atptour @racqetmagazine pic.twitter.com/Hot4cjvfSp
Whether or not this marks any sort of end to the sort of large scale WTA-focused marketing pushes that have failed so miserably in the past, while the partnership may help the sport’s visibility as a whole, it’s hard not to see -- on some level -- the women’s tour’s “joining forces” with the marketing arm of the men’s tour (which is getting, umm, *what* sort of expertise -- or even a modest level of competence -- from its WTA counterparts?) as something of an act of admitting a shortcoming. A throwing up of hands and “giving up,” if you will. If the women’s tour can’t market itself without a helping hand from its “big brother,” then what does that say about the WTA? Surely nothing in the area of the talk of “equality” and indendence that fans, former stars and most players often push for on the public stage. I’m just sayin’. At any rate, dissatisfied with the lack of effort from the tour itself, in recent years I’ve developed a habit of using my own “marketing slogans” for use on Backspin, from “The Most Interesting Tour in the World” to “They Got the Beat” (tied to a WTA theme song: the Go-Go’s “We Got the Beat”).
Truthfully, I’ve gotten tired of looking at the various logos I’ve used the last two years, so I thought it was time for a “refresh.” I considered something connected to the Cyndi Lauper song “True Colors,” but it felt a little too serious for my purposes, as well as a bit too on-the-nose with the tour’s rainbow logo and altered website/social media designs during LGBT Pride Month in June, something which the tour *did* handle quite well (and with which something utilizing “True Colors” as a theme song *would* work great with, by the way).
Ultimately, going the route I followed a while back when I did the WTA Theme Song series during the ’19 U.S. Open, I settled on... Robert Palmer’s “Simply Irresistible” as the centerpiece of my little fake marketing campaign.
I actually latched onto some of the video images from that song as far back as 2016, using Angelique Kerber as a stand-in for Palmer, with Karolina Pliskova as the model for the army of identical dancers forming a wall behind him.
I’m going to post my ideas for a series of WTA ads each day in this “And Finally...” space for the remainder of the U.S. Open, but I’ll start today with an “introductory video,” aka the song’s lyrics along with notes on the sequence of WTA images that could be used as various sections of “Simply Irresistible” are heard (and broken up into smaller sequences for shorter, 30-60 second ads). So...
BLACK SCREEN We hear the familiar opening notes of “Simply Irresistible” -- “Duh-da-duh-da-da, duh-duh-da-da-da-da, do-do-daahh-daahh”... FADE IN:
The opening of the iconic music video of the song, with Robert Palmer, dressed in a suit and tie, grasping a microphone as he sings the opening lyrics while backed by a wall of identically-dressed, nearly indentical-looking models swaying in rhythm with the music. He begins to sing the opening lyrics of the song.
She's anything but typical (an Iga tweener)
She's a craze you'd endorse, she's a powerful force (Serena fires aces past helpless opponents)
You're obliged to conform when there's no other course (Navratilova & King animated discussion in Royal Box)
She used to look good to me, but now I find her (Williams opponent concedes)
[in time with the music, Serena is shown lifting various slam title trophies]
Simply irresistible (Palmer)
Simply irresistible (Kerber)
Her loving is so powerful, huh (Muguruza forehand winner)
It's simply unavoidable (Stephens’ wide-eyed reaction to U.S. open prize money)
The trend is irreversible (McCoco leap and bump hips)
The woman is invincible (a Kvitova “Pojd!” moment)
She's a natural law, and she leaves me in awe (Andreescu wins U.S. Open)
She deserves the applause, I surrender because (Kasatkina hits leaping backhand down the line)
She used to look good to me, but now I find her (Halep slides into shot on clay)
Simply irresistible (Kerber)
Simply irresistible (Palmer)
Simply irresistible (Kerber)
(She's so fine, there's no tellin' where the money went) (images of Osaka ads & magazine covers)
Simply irresistible (Sakkari and Putintseva celebrations)
(She's all mine, there's no other way to go) (Barty to knees after Wimbledon win)
She's unavoidable, I'm backed against the wall (Cornet falls then scrambles to her feet)
She gives me feelings that I never felt before (Krejcikova looks to sky)
I'm breaking promises, she's breaking every law (Svitolina fist, Sabalenka roar)
She used to look good to me, but now I find her (Karolina Pliskova’s bended-waist, clenched fist celebration)
Simply irresistible (one of the swaying Pliskovas smiles at the camera)
(She's so fine, there's no tellin' where the money went) (shots of fans rising to their feet in the stands)
Simply irresistible (Petkovic dances)
(She's all mine, there's no other way to go) (Bencic falls, then hits shot from ground)
[Kerber leans back-to-back with one of the Pliskovas, who plays a mean guitar]
Her methods are inscrutable (crazy Hsieh shot)
The proof is irrefutable, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh (Hsieh smiles during on-court interview)
She's so completely kissable, huh (Badosa kisses clay)
Our lives are indivisible, yeah yeah (Barty celebrates with team)
She's a craze you'd endorse, she's a powerful force (classic Serena shots)
You're obliged to conform when there's no other course (Jabeur sinks to knees upon first title)
Well she used to look good to me, but now I find her (Halep kisses Wimbledon plate.)
Simply irresistible (Palmer)
(She's so fine, there's no tellin' where the money went) (various recent slam-winning moments and trophy lifts...not Ostapenko)
Simply irresistible (Kerber)
(She's all mine, there' no other way to go) (Ostapenko smirk, then Ostapenko lifting Coupe Lenglen)
Simply irresistible (Palmer)
(She's so fine, there's no tellin' where the money went) (Krejcikova/Siniakova timed leap w/ trophies)
Simply irresistible (Kerber)
(She's all mine, there's no other way to go) (Mladenovic celebrates winning Fed Cup title w/ Garcia and French team)
Simply irresistible (Original 9 raise a toast as the final note of music -- and "cha-ching" sound -- is heard)
In complete silence, Kerber smiles and drops the mic. As she does, the swaying Pliskovas all stop simultaneously -- as if their collective power cord has been cut -- and their chins immediately fall to their chests. Kerber’s footsteps can be heard as she walks away and the screen FADES TO WHITE The WTA LOGO appears on screen, followed by, in lowercase letters (with a period), “simply irresistible.” The hashtag #WTAsimplyirresistible" then appears alone on the screen.
FADE OUT.
Or something like that. To be continued...
And the tour wasn’t afraid to take a light-hearted approach -- as opposed to the we-take-ourselves-WAY-too-seriously angle we saw in the WTA’s #ItTakes and #ForTheGame campaigns, which followed the we-can-take-nice-but-not-particuarly-interesting-photos years -- to promote the sport.
The WTA, at least once, could have gone any of those routes and made much more hay from the effort because, let’s be honest, the tennis tour is and has always been -- sometimes in spite of its decision-makers -- THE leading women’s sport in the world. The most lucrative sports career for a female athlete is that of a tennis player (see Naomi Osaka’s name atop the endorsement earnings for last year), and more tennis players are known by name and/or face by general (or even casual) sports fans than those from any other tour or league (though the U.S. Women’s National Soccer Team has made great inroads in that area in recent years, at least back home). Actually, the closest the WTA has come to something creative that it “could work with” (naturally, though, the tour marketing arm didn’t follow up) has come from promotions and/or videos produced in-house by or for individual tournaments. In 2008, a year-end Championships ad latched onto a superheroes-in-disguise idea that would still work now in an environment where superhero movies -- especially ones that spotlight female characters -- are instant cultural touchstones (by the way, Ana Ivanovic is really the star in this -- such urgency in her stride!)...
It's an idea that current ads from DirecTV Stream echo with Serena Williams morphing into Wonder Woman.
And some of the videos produced by the now-defunct Connecticut Open (ala the eclipse video from 2017, and the infamous "Nien!" video starring Julia Georges, below) -- which got some attention when they debuted, and are still remembered fondly today -- showed that using the players in humorous spots would work quite well, and they’d enjoy it, too.
It's time to get our heads around the #serveclock ⏰ @Petra_Kvitova, @CaroGarcia, @KaPliskova, @juliagoerges, @ARadwanska, @Daria_gav and @CoCoVandey break it down...#CTOpenTennis pic.twitter.com/eaZHjmElRi
— Connecticut Open (@connecticutopen) August 23, 2018
Recently, photographer Radka Leitmeritz -- again someone at least initially outside the official “WTA bubble” -- has produced a series of beautiful, more informal, off-court images of tour players (she hashtagged the series #HerTrueSelf) that instantly made one see the potential for such a thing being at the center of an interesting marketing campaign as opposed to the almost-so-polished-they’re-unrecognizable-as-the-players-on-the-court photos in past WTA efforts.
In fact, the value here was SO obvious that even the WTA (!!) could see it. Not long after the photos started to appear on social media, the WTA started highlighting them in its own Twitter and Instagram posts. This month, an official tour-related teaming with Leitmeritz was announced as part of a "Court Supremes" photography project celebrating the... wait for it... "strength + beauty of women's tennis." Sigh. Really? Apparently, someone just dusted off the copy that was used for all those old tour marketing pushes that centered around having fully-outfitted players in full make-up posing for “action shots” under modeling studio lighting. The tag lines for those were always some combination of “strength” and “beauty.” I guess the “+” is the new innovation.
Leitmeritz, somewhat playing the role with tennis stars that photographer Annie Leibovitz has always done with entertainment celebrities, will surely bring her strong game along for the ride. It’s a pity that the tour marketing arm has already shown itself to not able to keep up with her, though. Anyway... For a few years now I’ve espoused the notion of the WTA producing the sort of oddball ads that aired to promote ESPN’s SportsCenter program years ago. They included athletes from all sports, along with various program hosts, in funny, strange and *memorable* spots that sometimes seemed to take place in an alternate universe. They comprised easily the most memorable series of sports-related ads since, I don’t know, maybe the old Miller Lite beer campaigns in the 1970s and ’80s, but at least since the more recent group that featured Michael Jordan (for Nike, featuring Mars Blackmon played by Spike Lee, and the Gatorade Be Like Mike spots), Bo Jackson (Nike/Bo Knows) and Peyton Manning (Mastercard/”Cut that Meat!”). Here are a few of the ESPN ads:
And just because it’s relatively timely...
After talking about it for a while, I finally came up with some ideas for a series of WTA-related ads following along this line, so for the rest of this U.S. Open I’ll be posting written-out scripts for each one that “made the cut.” First up... FADE IN:
We see an overhead view of a busy grocery strore. Customers casually stroll the aisles, pushing carts filled with items. Everything is calm. A cashier checks out a customer at the front of the store, running the final item over the scanner until he hears the familiar and reassuring BEEP. The customer is Petra Kvitova. She smiles and eagerly offers up a paper coupon from the handful clutched in her hand.
The cashier takes the coupon and runs the bar code over the scanner. BEEP.
The cashier flinches, but only slightly. She hands him another coupon. He performs the same task. BEEP.
She happily hands him another coupon, visibly pleased with her act of saving money. Once she does, the view of the store from above is seen once again. As the shoppers move along, the calm is interrupted by another burst of “Pojd!” that rings across the establishment, echoing from one side to the other. This seems to be a regular occurrence, since most shoppers go about their business with little notice. In the corner of the screen, though, a young girl sitting in the child’s seat of a cart is seen pointing in the direction of the cash registers. Suddenly, another “Pojd!” rings out. The screen fades to WHITE, with the everyday sounds of the grocery store still audible.
In bed and stretched out on her stomach while wearing her turquoise-colored unicorn footie pajamas, Simona Halep closes her laptop and sits up and turns off the lamp on the nightstand. She checks the clock, knowing that it’s time to go to sleep. She pulls the bedspread covers up around her neck, but it’s immediately apparent that she has a problem. She can only stare at the ceiling, and is tossing and turning. Finally, she rises from bed and walks to the window. She opens it and leans out, waving to a group of fans congregating on the sidewalk below. They see her and cheer. Leaving the window open, Simona jumps back into bed. The room’s silence is then replaced by the faint sound of the fans from the street as they chant “Si-mo-na! Si-mon-na!” over and over again in lullaby-like fashion. Like a little kid, Simona pulls the covers up to her chin and snuggles into the heart of the bed. She breathes a sigh of contentment. With a smile on her face, she drifts off to sleep. The screen fades to BLACK.
END.
The tension is thick as a high stakes poker game takes place in a small, smoke-filled secret room likely beneath a respected establishment that serves as a cover for potentially explosive goings-on below ground level. As the final round of bets are made, Karolina Pliskova pushes her entire mountain of gains -- hundred dollar bills, jewelry, a gold bar and... Fidget spinner? -- into the middle of the table. The rest of the gamblers gathered around the table grumble and throw their cards in. Too rich for their blood. Save for one player. Jessie Pegula confidently pushes her pile into the center, calling Pliskova’s bet. Once she does, she sees a small smile curl onto Pliskova’s face. Pegula swallows hard. She’s nervous now. Pegula cautiously lays down her cards, four sixes and an eight.
She smiles, and then leans into the table. Waiting. Pliskova stares Pegula down, finishes off the golden, shimmering liquid in her glass, then places her cards on the table, clicking the edge of each one with her fingernail as she lines them up along the felt-covered surface. Ace...Ace...Ace...Ace...and Ace. Those around the table “ooh” and “ahh” at the play. Except for Pegula, who has a disbelieving look on her face. Pliskova knowingly shrugs, then scrapes up her entire load of loot off the table and into a large sack and then stands up to leave. She nods to the group before she goes.
She walks off without another word. The dealer casually gathers all the cards and begins to reshuffle the deck. Pegula is still confused and a little mad.
He doesn’t feel the need to explain any further. Pegula simply sighs and sinks in her chair.
Her words are cut off mid-sentence as the WTA logo appears on the screen.
END.
On a practice court at the All-England Club in London, the sounds of grass court tennis surround the area. Balls bounce up off the lawn, then are authoritatively whacked back across the net, with the sound of the strings of a tennis racket making contact with the sphere filling the air with pleasantness. From behind the camera, an individual emerges and walks toward the empty court. It’s clearly Ash Barty. She walks toward the backcourt and eyes an unseen person on the opposite side of the net.
The sound of the tennis ball being hit from acros the net is heard, while Ash prepares to return the shot. She swings and the ball heads back, but the sound coming from her “racket” doesn’t sound right. As the ball comes back at her again, she swings again. The sound -- more of a thud than a whack -- once more sounds “foreign.” It’s only then that we realize that Ash isn’t warming up with a tennis racket, but with a cricket bat. It's an unmistakably odd sight. No matter, she wields it with great skill, sending each ball back in routine fasion. Over and over again, getting into a fine rhythm.
The screen fades to WHITE, with a whack immediately followed by the THUD of a ball connecting with a cricket bat.
END.
Her afternoon workout complete, Iga Swiatek is lounging at home in a t-shirt and sweatpants. She’s bored, and hungry. Iga grabs her phone (its cover is emblazoned with “IGA”), opens up an app labeled “The Pizza Ninja" and orders up a pie. She kicks up her feet, leans back on the coach, and waits. Five seconds later, the doorbell rings. Iga opens the door and sees Dasha Kasatkina running away from the house with a pizza box in her hands. Once Dasha spies over her shoulder that Swiatek has opened the door, she picks up her speed and then flings the pizza box back up the walkway, through her legs in tweener fashion. Iga catches it. EXT. HOUSE - DAY
Dasha looks back, giving a self-satisfied nod to Iga, who responds with an appreciative thumbs up. INT. HOUSE
Iga casually closes the door and immediately begins to devour a slice of pepperoni and mushroom pizza as she turns to walk back through the house. Before she can, though, the doorbell rings again. Iga opens the door. Aga Radwanska is standing there, dressed in a full tennis outfit with racket in hand.
Iga closes the door in Radwanska's face without another word, then continues eating as she walks across and then out of frame.
The screen fades to BLACK.
END.
A fire is going in the fireplace of the rather cozy room. The Camera pans across a group of woman sitting in chairs arranged in a circle in the middle of the floor around a table filled with coffee cups and various snacks, some healthy but also some sweet. Each woman has a book in her lap and most are leaning forward into what is clearly an ongoing conversation.
The group laughs. When there is a pause in the discussion, a German-accented female voice is heard.
The other women turn in the direction of the voice. It is seen to be that of Andrea Petkovic.
She stresses the final word in a provocative way, with a wicked gleam in her eye. A round of “oohs” comes from the circle, as everyone nods in agreement with the notion.
As the rest of the Book Club begins to talk amonsgst themselves, Petkovic hops up from her seat and heads toward the kitchen. Halfway between the circle and the kitchen door, a row of Petko fans jump up from their seats lined up against the wall and begin to cheer. One holds up a large hand-drawn “Petko for
The screen fades to BLACK.
END.
Elena Rybakina fires a forehand down the line.
Rybakina walks to the net and shakes the hand of her opponent, barely showing a noticeable change of expression on her face. Moments later, she’s handed the tournament trophy and raises it above her head. Again, the calm look on her face betrays very little emotion. A bank of photographers snap loads of photos.
EXT. HOUSE - NEARLY SUNSET
Later in the day, with the sun nearly set and the sky darkening, Rybakina emerges from a taxi parked alongside the curb. With her tennis bag slung over her shoulder, she slowly and silently trudges her way up the lane, tired from a hard day’s work. Pulling out a set of keys, she unlocks the front door of the house and enters, closing the door behind her. Moments later, the illuminated windows show lights to have been turned on inside. The unmistakable silhouette of Rybakina walking past the window and across the room is seen from a vantage point across the street. Suddenly, the familiar opening beats of the song “Simply Irresistible” are heard emanating from the home. Within seconds, Rybakina’s silhouette is seen in the illuminated window as she dances up a storm, criss-crossing the room to the beat of the music.
As Rybakina’s silhouette continues to spin across the floor, the screen fades to WHITE around her.
Over the words...
END.
A barista carries a newly-prepared drink out to the counter. CLOSE on cup, as the customer’s name scrawled on the side of the cup in black marker reads: “COCO.” The barista calls out the name of the person who ordered the drink.
The barista sets the cup on the empty counter. Within seconds the cup is seen being grabbed by the hands of not one, but two, customers. The CAMERA pans back to see that it’s both Coco Gauff and CoCo Vandeweghe making a claim on the beverage. They both instantly realize the problem. In unison, they read back to the other their order from memory.
Again, they both see another problem. Gauff holds up the cup and stares at the writing on its side. She points at it.
Vandeweghe holds the cup up to within just a few inches of her face, closely inspecting the writing. She’s skeptical.
Gauff raises an eyebrow.
As their discussion becomes more intense, from behind them Serena Williams is seen swooping in to grab her own drink before the barista can get further than “Se-” in the calling out of her name. Before either Coco or CoCo can see her and drag her into their “conversation” she quickly tip-toes away as quickly as she can, heading for the front door. EXT. FRONT OF COFFEEHOUSE - DAY
Breathing a sigh of relief, Serena hears the door close behind her. Just then, she sees another customer approaching the store. She reaches out and gently touches the forearm of a smiling Bianca Andreescu, headed into the coffeehouse while carrying her dog Coco in an open carrying case slung over her shoulder.
Without another word, Serena heads off down the sidewalk. As she goes, Bianca and Coco attempt to clandestinely peer through the coffeehouse window to see what is going on inside.
The screen fades to WHITE, with the sound of Coco Andreescu’s tiny bark heard in the background..
END.
Players, coaches, ball kids, umpires, linespeople, and various other tennis personnel congregate at tables throughout the room, eating in a school lunchroom-like atmosphere. A queue snakes along the edge of the room as people make their selections from the choices of food and drink offered behind the counter, reaching over to grab and then placing their chosen items on their tray and sliding it along on the rails toward the cashier at the end of the line. Two diners, a “regular” and a newcomer, sit at a table and watch the people travel through the line. The newcomer focuses on one particular individual as she moves along the final stretch of the railing. It’s Alize Cornet. Cornet pushes her tray along, seeming to drag her taped-up leg behind her down the line. Suddenly she stumbles and her tray partially derails, causing her bowl of Jell-o to slide off. Cornet, with a miraculous feat of athleticism, catches the bowl of the jiggly dessert in mid-air and then does a body roll from which she pops up from the floor at the end of the line. Once the move is complete, she sets the Jello-o back on the tray and does an emphatic celebratory fist pump.
From their position, the two diners watch the dramatics play out. The newcomer is wide-eyed, while the regular casually digs into her salad. As Cornet pulls money from her pocket and pays for her lunch, slapping the bills and change down on the counter with urgency, the newcomer turns to her companion.
The newcomer continues to watch as Cornet turns and moves towards the cafeteria seating area, carrying her tray in one hand while slapping her thigh and talking to herself as she goes, offering herself encouragement along the way. Cornet walks past them.
Her voice trails off as she gets farther away. The newcomer watches her go, then gives a “well, I guess that’s how things are around here” shrug, and takes a bite of her egg salad sandwich. In the background, Steffi Graf is seen tossing a coin high in the air, nearly scraping the ceiling, and then catching it before handing it to the cashier.
END.
FADE IN:
The sounds of the subway are heard as a car slows to a stop. Everyone is dressed in warm winter gear. Riders step out of the car and onto the platform, while new passengers board. Inside, several people sit in seats along the wall. One is busy working on a crossword puzzle. She seems stumped, and turns to her friend sitting on the right.
A standing man holding the handle grip hanging from the ceilng pipes in.
The crossword passenger shakes her head.
She counts the empty boxes, and we see a CLOSE SHOT of the puzzle. The final three filled-in letters are “OVA.”
No one offers another option. Then, from the crossword passenger’s left, a Female Voice.
The crossword passenger considers the offering, looking over the puzzle. She starts to fill in the letters, but seems to be a little stumped. The helper leans in to see how she’s doing. We see that it’s Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova, dressed in proper Russian winter attire, who has removed her earbuds to get involved in the conversation. She helps the woman's spelling.
Pavlyuchenkova smiles.
Pavlyuchenkova, unrecognized and unbothered, but also clearly happy to be helpful, puts her earbuds into place, then leans back and listens to her music. She closes her eyes as the car's doors close and the ride along the rail begins again.
END.
FADE IN:
A female guide leads a small group of people -- parents and children -- up the steps outside a university building before they all go inside.
INT.UNIVERSITY HALLWAY
The group slowly walks down a long hallway lined with doors leading to classrooms. Everyone looks around at their surroundings with expressions of awe, impressed with what they see.
One of the young potential stars runs up to a classroom door, looking through the glass. She sees Victoria Azarenka at the front of a class of young students.
INT.CLASSROOM
Azarenka demonstrates the proper celebratory clenched-fist technique.
Each of the students do their own version. Vika smiles at their efforts.
INT.UNIVERSITY HALLWAY
As the group travels down the hallway, they peek through the door windows of other rooms, eyeing the instructors teaching rows of eager students. We see inside the classrooms as we hear the guide’s voice as she continues to talk to the prospective university attendees and their parents.
INT.CLASSROOM
We see Leylah Fernandez make a sweeping gesture toward the students, as if demanding that they stand up and cheer. Once they do, the young professor shakes her fist and lifts it high above her head.
In one classroom, Serena Williams, on bended knee, raises her fist in triumph. A rather studious-looking member of the glass quickly takes notes. We view a CLOSE-UP of her Notebook and see that she’s hand-drawn a rather intricate portrait of Williams’ pose.
We see Francesca Schiavone, on her back, roll over and kiss the floor. A student in the front row makes a face, as if she can taste the floor from her seat.
Angelique Kerber, in a lab coat and with a pointer in hand, stands at the head of the class in front of a chalkboard with a complex diagram of herself celebrating -- complete with lines leading to handwritten notations -- drawn on it. A student stands next to her with a racket in her hand, apparently part of a demonstration.
Kerber clenches and vigorously pump both fists -- one still holding the pointer toward the ceiling-- while simultaneously lifting a leg. The student tries to emulate her actions, but comes up a bit short as she pumps just one fist while raising her leg, and holds the racket pointed toward the floor. Kerber quickly lends assistance.
The student finally succeeds.
The student’s shout fills the room, and the outside hallway.
INT.UNIVERSITY HALLWAY
As the group continues to walk down the hallway, one girl trails behind the others. She practices her moves, doing a Venus-like twirl and then waving to the invisible fans lining the walls. She bows, then runs to catch up with the others.
A school bell rings over the logo.
END.
FADE IN:
Show host Ken Jennings speaks directly to the camera on a television studio sound stage. The "Jeopardy!" quiz show set can be seen in the background.
A series of scenes from the show are seen, with current and former WTA stars buzzing in and correctly answering questions (in the form of a question).
Seles jokingly bows.
Next to her, fellow contestant Barbora Strycova chimes in.
Venus shrugs it off.
Back to Jennings being interviewed.
Various shots of contestants vociferously celebrating correct answers...
Back to Jennings, who seems reluctant to bring it up...
Back to the contestants.
One of the contestants next to her winces. Back to Jennings.
Caroline Garcia celebrates a correct answer by running across the stage, sporting "airplane wings"...
Garcia leaps into the air.
END.
FADE IN:
A busy set of tennis practice courts are seen, with various players knocking back and forth balls with hitting partners under the watchful eyes of a coach.
Petkovic comes into view as she walks along the baseline of an empty court.
SOMBER MUSIC begins to play and "1-800-WTA-HELP" appears on the screen below her. Shots of WTA players sweating, reacting to missed shots and watching an opponent fire a winning shot past her at the net.
Maria Sakkari is seen standing still in the corner of the court, waiting. Impatiently. Finally, a young man runs up with a towel in hand. He quickly dabs at the sweat from her left temple and then runs off. Sakkari stares intently at him until he returns and dabs the sweat from her right temple, as well. He hesitates until she shoos him away, then turns back toward the practice court.
Suddenly a tiny dog runs up to Petkovic. She kneels down and picks it up. Seconds later, Bianca Andreescu arrives to retrieve her dog Coco. Petkovic turns back to the camera.
The screen fades to black. "Sponsored by
END.
ALSO: "They Got the Beat: The Birth of a Fake WTA Marketing Campaign"
posted by Todd.Spiker @ 7:50 AM
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