The Carla Talks Winterfest Recap: World Elking Cup Edition (2022)

At the close of a year that saw a return to something close to what was once believed to be normal -- not the pandemic-related "new normal" -- as well as a series of off-campus instances that brought sudden change to the Backspin Academy lifestyle, this season's Winterfest wasn't immune to an unexpected evolution of its own. More on that in a moment.

2022 saw the usual amount of fantastic accomplishments by BSA's most enterprising and creative students, faculty members and alumni, all done with a heaping helping of flair with the backdrop of the vocal (and otherwise) support of the Academy's many benefactors cheering them on all the way. Once more, BSA is honored to provide a rich scholastic and competitive, yet insistently communal, environment that provides a lush landscape on which all can thrive and develop the skills that will serve them *and* make us proud both now and into the future.

Over the past twelve months, our beloved campus (finally) reopened to all *without* masks or vax cards at the ready, with students welcomed back wholeheartedly to our many halls of learning, leaving their virtual classrooms behind. Of course, just as we were happily (if tentatively) rediscovering our bearings, we were faced with the literal overnight change of our Student Body President due to the longtime holder of the position abruptly stepping down and heading off for parts (and activities) uncharted. Suddenly in leadership limbo, BSA's diverse group of eager achievement-seekers were no longer sure about just who they should look to for guidance.

At the same time, even with the pandemic less of a daily concern, real-world influences threatened to intervene on our normally serene campus life. While we strove to keep such issues to a minimum, we also attempted to utilize the occasional difficulties experienced between individual students of different nationalities as a learning tool with which *all* could be educated about being respectful of each other's personal situation back home while *also* coalescing behind the sort of universal notions (i.e. "war is not a good thing") that we hope will further establish a foundation upon which each and every day our already close-knit community will continue to grow ever more unified, often in spite of whatever sort of decisions are made by opposing governments and defiant strongmen (wannabe or otherwise) who seek to feed egos and sow discord both near and far.

While such challenges will unfortunately wear on into the new year, we had nothing to fear when it came to our campus leadership "concerns."

By the end of the final term (and, quite frankly, long *before* then) we discovered that the student leadership reigns had been passed over to an individual who was fully prepared to lead the campus into a new era, putting her personal stamp on our collective well-being. The timing could not have been more perfect, as many of our past alums decided over the course of recent semesters to vacate their long-held staff positions, choosing to move forward with their lives with a less *defined* role on campus, though they have promised to return when they are needed and, well, whenever they wish to simply feel the love of a community that will warmly embrace them with open arms for as long as they desire to visit.

Our Beloved Backspin Academy





Long before the temperatures begin to drop, the BSA Powers That Be are always assiduously working to make the Winterfest celebration a unique and memorable experience. The last two years, despite many obstacles, the long-weekend spanning event still proved to be (we think) the highlight of the holiday season. During one of this year's regular summer meetings to discuss how we could "up our game" this winter, in an instant, everything became super-changed.

At precisely the one hour and seven minute mark of the scheduled one-and-a-half hour meeting, the much revered and feared Carl (NOTE: this post is contractually obligated to refer to Carl in this fashion at *least* once) burst through the door (since replaced, as it was left in splinters) and announced that he had secured the hosting rights to the latest World Elking Cup and that the festival board would spend the next six months making arrangements to host the three-plus week international sporting spectacle.

Carl said that the agreement he'd reached stated that he would lead all Cup activities, making every decision as he arranged the effort to gather all visiting delegations at BSA as well as guiding the effort to physically alter the campus' layout in order to "fit" the event onto our relatively small patch of land. He then left the room and we didn't personally hear from him again until nearly November, though we saw him nearly every day around the grounds, working to make his elking dream come true.

From that moment forward -- partly due to no one wishing to be unceremoniously squished, but also because everyone agreed that this Winterfest was one in which we desired "the bigger the better" -- many decisions had to be made. For one, the festival's timespan would be lengthened from the usual three days to nearly a full month. Meanwhile, with Carl preoccupied (even more so than usual), his better half Carla once again stepped up *big* time for BSA and took over the day-to-day Winterfest planning and operations. It didn't take long before it was clear that it was a must that this year's festival, held simultaneously with the World Elking Cup, *had* to be rebranded so that it would bear her name and likeness. Hence, the first-ever Carla Talks Winterfest celebration!

Working as an intermediary (the only possible one, really) between BSA and Carl, Carla fashioned a hybrid program that everyone ultimately felt was a perfect blend of Winterfest tradition and World Elking Cup ceremony to take place side-by-side during the event. Better yet, Carla's "light touch" and her special relationship with the Big Guy likely prevented any number of stress-related squishings had Carl been kept anything other than "in the know" about how the two noteworthy celebrations would manage to coexist without anyone's "toes" (or other body parts) being stepped on (or, you know, possibly ripped clean off their body in a fit of caveman rage and/or frustration).

Carla's first official decision was that Winterfest would return to being an indoor/outdoor event after two years of visitors being forced to brave the elements in order to enjoy essentially every part of the celebration. Also back in the site mix this year would be the Sugarpova Museum of Contemporary Arts and Entertainment (nee Sugarpova Multiplex), its expansion having been completed more than a year ago but being excluded from event activities the last two years because of the pandemic. The museum would host the usual roster of Winterfest events, from the Carl Carla Talks lecture series to various musical, dance and spoken-word performances, to be scheduled to take place on the weekends (and selected weekday nights) around the actual Cup elking matches that would be the daily centerpiece of the festivities.

BSA was floored (not literally, though Carl could have personally had that arranged, of course) to be chosen as the host of the '22 Cup, the first version of the event to be held in North America. It was a partnership that we didn't know we needed, but it more than fit the "bigger" feeling that BSA was looking for this year. Thanks, Carl... that one you get without a written promise.

(NOTE: We would be remiss if we did not at least mention the widespread "rumors" in media accounts of the Cup that somehow *Carl* made a large sum of money under the table by bringing the competition to BSA while also being a member of the World Elking Association (WEA) board of commissioners, as well as noting the controversy surrounding Carl's line of digital trading card NFTs featuring himself decked out in full World Elking Cup regalia for each team, as well as in a series of "action poses" from his life. We're *sure* all the suckers customers will *eventually* get what they over paid for, and that the offer is not "bogus" as some have widely claimed. - this note has been approved by BSA legal representatives)

The hosting situation came about at an important time for the World Elking League and WEA, as well. The WEL, like so many other enterprises, has had difficulty weathering the pandemic's new economic realities, largely due to travel restrictions. At one time, it had announced that it would fold entirely, but "big money investors" stepped in to save the day at the eleventh hour.

Ultimately, five elking franchises -- the Alberta Bison, Cheyenne Killer Clowns, Helena Guardians, Siberian Tsars and Nanchang Heroes -- folded, while the Colorado Range and Idaho Potato Bugs merged to form the Colorado Potato Beetles. Another expansion team, the Elkhorn Beasts, closed up shop before playing their first match (ironically, due to a lack of local elk). The league has since been realigned into an eight-team, two-division format, with the New World division (Colorado, Regina Force, Saskatoon Berrypickers and Yukon Malamutes) representing the North American region, and the Old World Division (EC Astana, The Herders of Mongolia and two new teams, the Napal Sherpas and Tashkent Scythians) covering the Asian continent.

The WEA was seeking a host for the event lest it have to be cancelled, and BSA was happy to fill the void.

It was determined that the Cup would go forward with the usual round robin format featuring the two divisions, with the top two in each group advancing to the semifinals, followed by a best-of-three face-off in the championship. Carl and the Cup organizers got together to devise a new hyrid style of play to take place on the BSA campus, maintaining the usual open field competition employed since "all were young" combined with a more "street-wise" version that could play out over the paved streets and around standing buildings (the WEL hopes to employ this style elsewhere around the world in an attempt to expose a whole new group of fans to what they call "the age-old game"), as well as interspersing a stadium-confined "in-the-round" concept within each match that would take place in BSA's athletic stadium, temporarily iced-over in order to simulate the "lake game" that was apparently a large part of the ancient version of elking depicted on a series of cave wall drawings discovered in Siberia decades ago. This sort of competition had not taken place in many generations, and BSA was thrilled to play a part in its rebirth!

BSA spent all summer and fall preparing the campus for the competition, as each team's various elk herds for the Cup gradually arrived and were immediately housed in a series of stables overlooking the river, on either side of the large stage and ten-story cauldron (hovering over the stadium wall) built for the grand opening ceremonies. Carl is said to have promised WEA that it'd be able to "be seen from space." We originally thought that Carl must have been joking, but when we saw the final completed project we realized (again) that Carl (as much as he *has* changed) still does not know how to joke.

As the opening of Cup play arrived, all tickets (yes, we avoided any sort of "Taylor Swift/Ticketmaster debacle") had been scooped up from visitors from around the globe, many of them fans who traditionally travel with their favorite elking teams on long road trips. All off-campus hotel rooms and on-campus housing was filled to capacity, leading to some of the more nomadic fans visiting from far lands (mostly Mongolia) to assemble their own supplies and set up makeshift dwellings on the edge of campus, which proved to be quite the educational experience for all involved as cultures mixed, ideas were exchanged and new (hopefully) lifelong friendships were formed.

As the elking playing fields were constructed and parts of the BSA campus deconstructed in order to be competition ready, everyone agreed that they'd never seen Carl (viewed "from afar," i.e. a safe distance) more focused. Save for Carla, no one dared to approach him as ideas quickly became reality -- often by his own hand -- as trees were downed, open spaces were lined with hay and large stones were placed to mimic the terrain seen in a typical elking-ready expanse.

The night before the first Cup pre-opening ceremonies match, the BSA campus was blanketed with the beginnings of what would be nearly two feet of snow, with temperatures well below freezing (with even *more* frigid windchill numbers), said to be the "ideal" playing field for classic elking competiton.

"It good day to elk," Carla reported, is what Carl said when he first witnessed the campus in the early morning light.

Ash Barty, content in her sudden retirement after a multi-year run as Class President, tossed out the first rock from in front of an "Outwit. Outplay. Outelk." banner stretched across the open meadow on the west campus, thus beginning what was the opening match between Colorado and Saskatoon.

Before the match, the Aussie had been seen getting pointers regarding fine elking skills and seemed to immediately prove to be quite "adept with the horn." (If she makes a surprise announcement soon regarding her furture as an elking pro... well, we say, expect her to contend for Rookie of the Year honors.) There are already whispers of an Australian expansion team, but most believe that the logistical obstacles will prove to be too much to overcome.

With fans both new and old camped out along the edges of the playing field and atop buildings, observation towers and hilltops (as well as packing the stadium for the lake section of the match), the Berrypickers picked up the first round robin win by a score of 78-70 in a swift 5-hour, 45-minute match time (some elking contests are known to last up to eight hours, ten if they take place in extremely moutainous environs). The final scoresheet even included an "assist" credited to Barty, an apparent "judgment call" by the official scorer after Saskatoon scored an instant point after gaining control of Ash's opening rock toss. It was the quickest score in World Elking Cup history.

In an attempt to integrate the usual Winterfest traditions with the World Elking Cup ceremonies, the annual raising of our sacred "Church of Simona" banners (once more removed from their climate-controlled underground storage unit at an undisclosed bunker located somewhere on campus), simultaneously hoisted above Henin Hall on the west campus as well as at the main entrance on the east end, took place at sunset on the day of the first Cup match. While the still beloved Romanian alum was not in attendance, she was serenaded in song by the throng there for the occasion, kept warm by the candles handed out to each individual as they arrived. Everyone maintained their allegience to her cause as Simona faces personal difficulties in her attempt to clear of name of any wrongdoing after charges were made against her earlier this fall. As far as her progress on that front goes... so far, so good.

It goes without saying that while there was nary a dry eye in sight, the group's resilience was equally as strong. After a moment of silence, the ceremony concluded with a series of umprompted -- and full-throated -- cheers of "Si-mo-na! Si-mo-na! Si-mo-na!"

Afterward, a smiling and teary-eyed Simona posted a heartfelt thank-you message across all social media platforms, saying that, "Everything is good when it's finished well." We look forward to her getting the chance to finish what she started.

The next morning saw the breathtaking Cup opening ceremony take place. As has recently become a Winterfest tradition, Barbora Krejcikova opened the festivities with a speech that talked about the sense of belonging and togetherness that permeates the BSA campus, even after so many sometimes-dark days in recent years, and how we now are all even *more* prepared to welcome a throng of new visitors to our "second home." The Czech said that while many here came for the games she hoped that they'd remember (and maybe return in the future) to re-live the camaraderie and fun that is *always* present on the grounds at this time of the year.

"By the time a champion is crowned," Barbora surmised, "our family will grown exponentially many times over."

*insert Cotton Eye Joe song*

?? @BKrejcikova x @WTAFinals ?? pic.twitter.com/xiu8BKfjhC

— wta (@WTA) November 2, 2022

Krejcikova then joined a line dancing crew -- yes, we can confirm that it WAS the *actual* Rockettes, who'd emerged from a "cave" in the corner of the stage -- for a brief number. Barbora then exited the stage -- after getting a spirited high-five from the Rockette at the end of the line -- while her dance partners kicked their way across from the west to the east campus, finally disappearing over a far-off hill without ever having skipped a beat or missed a single high kick.



Their departure officially kicked off (get it? Thank Carla for the idea!) a brilliant production that included the long-awaited return of Serena Claus (her portrayer suddenly has more time, but also less time... she's always busy!), the majestic procession of all the elks that would take part in Cup competition, and the singing of multiple national anthems by BSA alum Vania King (welcome back, V!)

The final portion of the production featured seemingly hundreds of costumed dancers and puppeteers traveling on boats across the nearby frozen river, then parading through the crowd before finally climbing on stage and performing a series of intricate numbers, many of which included forming moving and interlocking circles surrounding horned acrobats who climbed atop one another until they formed a single "beast" so tall that it could seemingly touch the moon.

And was that ol' QC twirling around in circles across the humungous stage between the representations of "dancing elks," weird pterodactyl-looking flying beasts, and bare-footed "Neanderthals" with large clubs (a Carl-approved costume, so no protest marches or boycotts, please) as she carried behind her a flowing banner that read something about the end being the beginning and the beginning being the end? At Winterfest, apparently, virtually *everything* comes back around again eventually.

It was determined that the ceremony needed an "explosive" moment to wrap things up, and it didn't take long to settle on an idea. As it turned out, Carl parachuted in, gliding in right over an explosion that destroyed the bank of sparkling-new pickleball courts that a few of our past alum (at the urging of Pickleball Channel Tennis Channel, we believe) had funded without Carl's knowledge over the summer and managed to have secretly built during a between-terms break. Carl *insisted* on this action, and no one had the nerve to question it... and we all sort of agreed with the notion, too, so "win-win."

With the explosion silhouetting his large form in the night sky, Carl lit the World Elking Cup cauldron with a perfectly-aimed Molotov cocktail as he floated by, then landed on the center of the stage. With a roar that could be heard for a hundred miles (really, we fielded complaints), he declared Winterfest and the '22 Cup "Opppeeeeennn!!!!"

We all could barely catch our breath (Carl had no such difficulty).

While the elking matches wore on, the traditional Winterfest activities were scheduled on weekends in every available nook and cranny, before and after matches, as well as some selected events during intermissions, weekday evenings and in the late night hours. Delicately integrated into the extended framework of the event by Carla, none were lost amidst the whirlwind of sporting activity or quite literally trampled by a wayward mammal. Everything went off like clockwork. Just as we expected. We knew Carla could pull it off.

As promised two years ago, the grand re-opening of the Sugarpova Museum of Contemporary Arts and Entertainment was overseen by its sponsor, as the winning Ms. Sharapova kept her word and took time from her always overloaded schedule (which now includes taking care of a newly-born infant!) to cut the ribbon stretched across the entrance as eager Winterfest visitors stepped over the threshhold and finally got to see the inside of the redesigned ediface for the very first time. As the crowds flocked in, Maria passed out complimentary copies of her latest musical endeavor.

Rather than record a new studio album for the holidays ("Maybe next year," she said. "I've been a *bit* busy this fall."), she pulled together a collection of her favorite instumental selections, aka mood music "to live by," including a soothing selection that she swears doubles as a lullaby for little Theodore, and another that invariably brings tears to her eyes as she remembers the so recently late lamented Nick Bollettieri.

The opening selection for the video theater was the recent CNN flashdocumentary entitled "Serena: On Her Terms." Everyone seemed to approve of the selection as a way to honor one of BSA's (well, THE) most successful alums.

Alas, though 'twas the night of the opening and through the place every creature was circulating amid the many visions of art, at some point everyone recognized that it was time for Maria to depart. From inside we all noticed when on the roof there arose quite a clatter, and we all looked to our host to see what was the matter. Within moments, away to a waiting 'copter Maria flew like a flash, tearing up the stairs and sneaking out with something quite resembling panache.

In a moment she'd be gone after to us all giving a wink, clearing the former 'Povaplex in less time than it took for anyone to blink. We're not sure what the issue was, but someone swore they heard her exclain ere she lifted out of sight, "I've got a 'onesie emergency' so tell them all to have a good night!"

We look forward to her return in one year's time.



Later that night, after so much interest was shown last year (including from Travel Channel, aka "the Paranormal Channel"), Carla's decision to fully welcome a supernatural aspect to Winterfest saw the first official holiday season featuring BSA-sponsored activities in the fabled "Lenglen Room" at Navratilova Hall.

A year ago, following one Carl Talk lecture several observers in the front row noticed a singular wisp of white smoke that seemed to prance and dance across the stage, twirling in the air in graceful patterns as it caught and held their attention until suddenly flaming out on the edge of the stage. "Oh, that's just La Divine," longtime visitors said of the suspected ghost of the great Suzanne Lenglen that often pays our little event a visit.

Every other night during this year's extra-long festival, a fully licensed medium held a séance in the Lenglen Room in which visitors could attempt to contact the spirit of Mlle. Lenglen. Among this year's disembodied "messages" received was one in which Suzanne said that she actually found Helen Wills "quite nice" and, of course, that "Tilden is still an asshole after all these years." One "conversation" revealed that Suzanne is positively giddy over, as far as we could tell, having recently made contact with Queen Elizabeth II and that she longs to use their budding friendship (their Corgis get along quite well!) to help her finally get some sort of closure after that awful misundertanding with "Lizzie's grandmum" Queen Mary at Wimbledon some 100 years ago. To date, Mary's "handlers" haven't allowed Lenglen to get within a curtsy-length of her over the decades.

Naturally, each seance concluded with everyone taking a swig of alcohol and then heading out to a local bar to sate their sudden desire before heading to bed for the night.

This year, Carla decided that any visitor who wanted to pay a little extra could book a night in the (apparently, as we can't *confirm* anything) "haunted" Lenglen Room, now converted into a bed-and-breakfast style suite. The room is fully stocked with the appropriate quantities (i.e. a lot) of brandy, flowers, fine linens, white stockings, knee-length skirts, bandannas and cigarettes (herbal as well as the real throat-killers if anyone wants to truly attempt to channel the spirit of The Goddess).

Celebrity overnighters this Winterfest included Madison Brengle, Jessie Pegula, Andrea Petkovic, Bianca Andreescu and Kiki Mladenovic. And we just got word that after New Year's Jack Osbourne is going to film a ghosthunting show for Travel Channel featuring the Lenglen Room!

La Divine never goes out of style.

Our Cover Wall art installation is always a crowd pleaser, as it provides a visual nod to all the outside attention that so many associated with BSA enjoy in the "real world." Located just outside the aforementioned Navratilova Hall of Records, this year's collection was thankfully photographed in full *before* the overwhelming snowfall that blanketed the campus, completely covering up the installation for the entire run of this year's Winterfest.

The photographs of the pre-snowdrift ridden walls are available as on online digital exhibit via the Serena Place Media Center as part of our historic library of past Winterfest offerings, as well as being projected onto the walls of a special viewing room in the Sugarpova Museum.

The extended Winterfest activities calendar also included the now-annual Dunk-a-Czech booth, this year featuring a whose host of new and younger faces, many children's reading hours get-togethers led by a series of BSA alums-turned-children's book authors -- including Serena Williams, Ash Barty, Bianca Andreescu and Naomi Osaka -- and *so* many of our alum's actual offspring (essentially, the sessions often doubled as free daycare for members of our BSA family), Elli Mandlik running a daily tennis clinic in the HANAJANA Center gym(partially named for her mom -- who showed up this year!), and an Iga Swiatek virtual surfing demonstration that was truly *the* hot ticket session of the entire festival.

Around the elking matches and during intermissions we also were treated to an MJ-inspired dancing exhibition from Coco Gauff and her siblings...

Coco Gauff and her brothers being ‘Bad’. ???? pic.twitter.com/R0P3b3Ce15

— LaWanda (@lawanda50) September 25, 2022

Some stand-up comedy sets from Andreea Prisacariu...

The ultimate rookie speech ????

Have a listen to Romania debutant Andrea Prisacariu, who is about to take on world No.1 Iga Swiatek#BJKCup pic.twitter.com/IuS3xG6LiO

— Billie Jean King Cup (@BJKCup) April 16, 2022

Diving lessons (indoors, of course) from Ons Jabuer...

How to get cool after your match?

Take a dip in the lake! ??@Ons_Jabeur | #bett1open pic.twitter.com/zjDkNlNCjw

— wta (@WTA) June 19, 2022

A free selfie booth with Harmony Tan's #1 fan, the inimitable Miss Jane Robinson...

(...and her biggest fan) https://t.co/N7SxN3wrBF pic.twitter.com/UVXYkqNrSb

— Wimbledon (@Wimbledon) July 11, 2022

Harmony Tan's number one fan ????#Wimbledon pic.twitter.com/hAoAnsOgTM

— Wimbledon (@Wimbledon) July 2, 2022

Wholesome content alert.@NickMcCarvel catches up with Harmony Tan and her biggest supporter#Wimbledon pic.twitter.com/ekZ1jaDCJy

— Wimbledon (@Wimbledon) July 2, 2022

And a horror/funhouse alternately operated by Jabeur, Andrea Petkovic and Alona Ostapenko that was designed to either shock and surprise or scare the bejeebers out of every visitor...

The day of reckoning... ??#WTAFinals pic.twitter.com/YjaxejgGYZ

— wta (@WTA) October 30, 2022

This is so wholesome I'm crying pic.twitter.com/7OdARdlXZj

— LorenaPopa ???????? (@popalorena) July 24, 2022

the Ostapenko masterclass against Muguruza in Doha pic.twitter.com/VQ4JcwH2AP

— Ryan (@Some1NamedRyan) February 24, 2022

Spooky season @iga_swiatek ?????? pic.twitter.com/PkYDMOrJXH

— Ons Jabeur (@Ons_Jabeur) October 29, 2022

Meanwhile, elking tutorials were conducted throughout Cup play for the uninitiated who wanted to learn more, often led by some of the sport's greats from the past, including Mongolian legend Khoriubechi (MVP of the inaugural World Elking Cup back in '64), Saskatoon's Deb Wellington (the first female to play in the WEL) and even our very own Carlo (Carl's oldest son and former WEL Rookie of the Year and MVP, who unfortunately was forced to retire this season after his fourth knee reconstructive surgery -- though he hinted at a future comeback attempt!).

Carl's "Famous" Elking Drawing

In order to keep the spirits high throughout match day, numerous performances -- from skits and dances to full-on musical numbers -- took place during match intermissions, though they *were* sometimes difficult for some visitors to hear over the continually celebrating fans of the various elking squads.

A year after the crowd-pleasing "Hand Shove" performance we were treated -- ala Chubby Checker's many versions of "The Twist" -- to "The Hand Touch," as Emma Raducanu -- her hands wrapped in gauze -- threw a tennis racket as high in the air as she could, "lightly" touched hands with as many of the "opponents" as she could who were gathered around her in a circle before the racket hit the floor. She promptly caught the racket by the head -- with her teeth! -- and then ripped off the gauze to show that she no longer had any painful blisters on her hands. She got a standing ovation, including from the collection of elkers who'd emerged from the lockerroom to warm up for the second half.

When blisters mean you can't even shake hands properly ????#AO2022 pic.twitter.com/drorxtCq8Q

— wta (@WTA) January 20, 2022

Longtime campus poet laureate Diane Dees once again took to one pre-game stage to deliver a series of live readings, including that of her always well-received "Billie Jean King's Glasses."

A year after the Original 9 tousled Billie Jean's hair at the close of Diane's reading and Rosie Casals snatched the glasses off King's head, Rosie made a return appearance *wearing* those same glasses this year. She emerged from behind the curtain without Diane noticing and, just as she did last year, placed the spectacles on a surprised Diane's face! The crowd went wild. Needless to say, this has now become a Winterfest tradition, with the only worry being how are we ever going to surprise Diane again *next* year?

Naturally, we take this moment to also highlight some of Dees' latest work, including her latest chapbooks The Last Time I Saw You (Finishing Line Press) and The Wild Parrots of Marigny (Querencia Press).



Go on, take a look!

Continuing with the recent Winterfest tradition, Carla ramped up the practice of having visitors drop their names in the many red kettles (each with its own personal ringer-of-the-bell) placed all over campus, hoping to match up as many individuals as possible with a gift that they'd surely enjoy. All sorts of treasures found new and appreciative homes, from the many books penned by BSA campus faves (including Alize Cornet's debut novel La Valse des Jours, and memoirs from Ash Barty and Angie Kerber) to the 2023 Vika Azarenka "Deep Thought a Day" desk calendar, a page of Ons Jabeur stamps straight from Tunisia, plastic elk antlers and call whistles, coupons for a free sandwich at the on-campus snack shop run by Zhang Shuai, and a set of Petra Kvitova-endorsed bee pins.

La Poste Tunisienne has launched a series of 22 stamps dedicated to brilliant Tunisian women, including Ons Jabeur.

A beautiful recognition to the best tennis player of the Arab World. pic.twitter.com/czH7WDRQwj

— Relevant Tennis (@RelevantTennis) August 12, 2022

The atmosphere was buzzing tonight ????@WTAGuadalajara pic.twitter.com/3gRGkBf73r

— Petra Kvitova (@Petra_Kvitova) October 18, 2022

Bees have taken over the umpires chair here in Guadalajara ?????? got to be a first for reasons your match is delayed #kvitova vs #pera pic.twitter.com/9vbdPjw2KK

— Melanie South (@melaniesouth) October 17, 2022

Of course, there *had* to be a little controversy thrown in, as one of our younger (and newer) helpers slipped quite a few caveman-inspired home game editions into the prize closet.

While it surely *seemed* a good idea, it was done without the Big Guy's knowledge, and when he caught wind of it -- after quite a few games had been gifted to visitors -- the campus and surrounding area was blanketed by WEA thugs workers who managed (we think) to confiscate collect all the games in public possession. A day later, the prize closet had been suspiciously re-stocked with loads of the "same" game, only with slight differences, including a fuzzy likeness of Carl himself on the box cover. Hmmm.

There is talk of a Carl-backed trademark lawsuit being in the works against the creator and company that released the game. Or, you know, a threat of widespread squishing. Whichever option proves to be the most effective, we suspect.

Ultimately, everyone seemed quite pleased if their name was chosen for the gift they desired (each was personally bestowed upon the recipient by the roving -- and rolling -- Diede Elf herself!), while the rest were given the opportunity to sift through the voluminous boxes of *still* leftover "WTA For the Game" gear remaining from the raid on the BSA Bookstore basement *last* Wintefest. Needless to say, we'll have quite a bit left to pick from *next* year, as well.

Of course, Winterfest wouldn't be the same without the "Carl Talks" lecture series, renamed for the brilliant Carla this year (at least). For the first time since 2019, the Talks returned indoors, with the Sugarpova Museum hosting after remote and on-the-corner Talks versions the last two festivals.

Once again, Carla assumed convocation duties. Her first appearance on stage was preceded by a long standing ovation when she walked before the assembled crowd, and it was an occurrance repeated every single time she appeared during the lecture schedule... right up until the final day, when the crowd didn't even bother to see her before the applause (hoots-and-hollers, really) began. By then, they *knew* how all of Carla's hard work had helped to produce a truly singluar event on the BSA campus. The ruckus didn't stop until Carla finally had to put her finger to her lips and give the universal "shhhhh" sign so that the schedule Talk didn't run into the elking match that was set to begin right afterward.

This year, after the outdoor set-up had allowed so many more to participate first-hand than in past seasons, each Talk was broadcast live across campus on the many viewing screens positioned in prominant spaces where crowds could gather. The largest, a bowl-shaped area ringed by several large hills in the middle of the east campus was quickly dubbed the "Cirque-du-Carla" around the grounds, and we suspect it will remain as such from here forward.

In her opening remarks, Carla had great news to report! Last year, she revealed that her personal ongoing mission to offer full educations to the less fortunate (compared to herself) members of the indigenous cavepeople communities both near and far would soon lead to crews breaking ground on the site of the Carla Academy for the Visionary Education of Indigenous Native Societies (CAVE-INS) just across the river from Backspin Academy! She announced before the first-ever *Carla* Talks lecture that the dedicated facility would open in the spring of the new year *and* that both BSA *and* Carl had agreed that all proceeds gained by BSA during the run of this year's Winterfest and World Elking Cup combo event would be fully donated to getting CAVE-INS up and running and providing the *very best* for all involved.

"My dream is coming true," Carla said, before having to collect herself and wipe the tears of joy from her eyes before going forward with the program. It was then that the Big Man himself appeared, opening his arms wide and eveloping Carla in a Carl-sized hug (the biggest there is on this earth, of course).

It was then that Carl approached the microphone and opened his mouth... but nothing came out. Carl stepped aside, and Carla stepped into his place (we all sensed a theme developing). She said that it was early in the Cup schedule, but that Carl's voice was already hoarse from all the shouting that was called for while filling his many roles in the competition -- from rules official to referee to elk wrangler -- and that he needed to rest it as much as possible. Before leaving, though, Carl leaned into the mic and, in a soft voice (for Carl) said, "Carla Carl rock... err, Carla *is* Carl rock. And for someone like Carl, that saying something."

He waved goodbye to the crowd, then took a final step back and leaned in once more. "Buy my NFTs," he said into the microphone, then scurried off stage (causing a minor "earthquake" to shake the 'Pova's foundation) with a crooked smile.

"Finding New Ways to Challenge Yourself is the Hardest Part (but also the most fun)" - Ash Barty [CANCELLED, announced with a text that read "Gone fishin', or golfin', or rugbyin', or marryin' (or elkin' LOL)"]

"The (Auto) Biography of Sisyphus" - Dasha Saville

"It's Never Too Late to Try Again" - Alize Cornet (who ended things by blowing a kiss to the "handful of morons" who booed her in Paris)

"How Do You say, 'Hang Ten, Dude' in Polish Anyway?" - Iga Swiatek

"When life gets blurry, adjust your focus." - Vika Azarenka *

"When You Think You're Above the Law but Are Soon Proven Otherwise: An Australian Pandemic Tale" - Craig Tiley (w/ a very, very brief appearance from Novak Djokovic)

"Sometimes Objects in the Rear View Mirror Are Just as Close as They Appear" - Jule Niemeier

QUOTES FROM AROUND CAMPUS: "There's no right way, there's no wrong way, it's just my way." - Ash Barty


"Winning While the World Plots Against You" - Nick Kyrgios [CANCELLED; speaker stormed out when a previous speaker mentioned that Ash Barty had won a SINGLES slam title in 2022, the first by an Aussie woman in Melbourne in nearly half a century. Nick was last heard uttering something about a "lack of respect" while also telling everyone within earshot that "he didn't care about any of it" anyway.]

"Fall Down Seven Times (or, you know, 20 or so), Stand Up Eight (really, just enough times to win the game)" - Aryna Sabalenka

"The Key to Winning Friends, Influencing People and (hopefully) Claiming the Big One" - Ons Jabeur

"The Art of Being the Perfect Teammate" - Belinda Bencic

"Make each day your masterpiece." - Vika Azarenka *

"Moderation is Not in My Vocabluly, Nor Should It Be at the Moment" - Marta Kostyuk





QUOTES FROM AROUND CAMPUS: "My heart stays at home, my mind is fighting here." - Dayana Yastremska


"Pojd Buzz and the World Buzzes With You" - Petra Kvitova

"Turning LOL into LOLs (lots of loot), or Vice Versa" - Caroline Garcia

"Everything happens for a reason. It's okay if you don't know what that reason is, yet." - Vika Azarenka *

"Bad Investment for You? Don't Blame Me!" (aka "I am the Pressure") - Naomi Osaka [CANCELLED due to the advice of lawyers]

"What's In It for Me?: A Guide to Living Life as the Sweetest, Most Generous, Sensitive and Innocent Person in the World" - Naomi Osaka (representation-approved replacement speech)

"Yes We Can (and Will)!" - Alex Eala, Victoria Jimenez Kasintseva & Angella Okutoyi

QUOTES FROM AROUND CAMPUS: "If I'm a drama queen for the people, then I am." - Alize Cornet


"Come On! Someone Make a Run at Me! Please?" - Diede de Groot (immediately after the speech, Yui Kamiji rolled across the stage and ran over Diede's left foot, to which she replied, "Yes! That's more like it!")

"How to Overachieve and Yet *Somehow* Also Underacheive Simultaneously... while rightly ignoring the idea of both notions at the same time" - Coco Gauff

"The sun is always there giving us life, even when it is covered by clouds." - Vika Azarenka *

"Do You Know My Name Yet? Don't Worry, You Will." - Alycia Parks (who asks once again for someone to remind Brad Gilbert that, when the day comes -- and it will -- to *not* call her Alycia "Parks & Rec/Wreck")

"Win (Again) and the World (and Conchita) Will Win with You (Again)" - Garbine Muguruza

"I'm Finally Here. Let's Go." - Liudmila Samsonova

QUOTES FROM AROUND CAMPUS: "I'm like a gangster on court, but an angel off court." - Yulia Putintseva


"Threading the Needle" (or "Ending The Story and Living to Tell About It") - Ajla Tomljanovic

"I Really Don't Like Bagels (and other misperceptions when you're a World #1)" - Iga Swiatek

"Always Leave 'em Wanting More (and believing they might get it)" - Serena Williams

"There are two days in the year that we can not do anything, yesterday and tomorrow." - Vika Azarenka *

"Sometimes the Best Course of Action Might Be to Just Say Nothing" - Anastasia Gasanova

"Dealing with New Expectations that Now Scrape the Sky (2023 version)" - Zheng Qinwen

Racquet No. 21

Zheng Qinwen

Photographed by Sue Kwon

Order and subscribe to @racquetmagazine at https://t.co/NNtYZ8jpZ7 pic.twitter.com/dVEL7kliNC

— Ben Rothenberg (@BenRothenberg) December 16, 2022

QUOTES FROM AROUND CAMPUS: "I'm just so grateful to every single person that's ever said, 'Go, Serena!' in their life. I'm just so grateful. Yeah, I mean, you got me here." ..."It's been a fun ride." - Serena Williams


"THE TRUTH IS (CENSORED BY PUTIN)" - Dasha Kasatkina

"Thankfully, Stamps Don't Need to Be Licked Anymore: A Tunisian Philatelic History" - Ons ("I Don't Like the Idea of Random People Licking the Back of My Neck") Jabeur

"When Your Name Isn't Already Cool Enough and You Have to Make Sure It's Bonkers-Cool" - Storm Sanders Hunter (guarding against future attacks by the "Cadance Braces of the world"... and, you know, tornadoes and such)

"There are so many beautiful reasons to be happy." - Vika Azarenka *

"It's Just Skin: How to Win Ugly Yet Play Beautifully While Doing It" - Iga Swiatek (back by popular demand)

"I'll Be Back. I Promise." - Angelique Kerber

"We Got Next" - Linda Fruhvirtova, Brenda Fruhvirtova, Linda Noskova, Sara Bejlek, Lucie Havlickova, Barbora Palicova, et al.

QUOTES FROM AROUND CAMPUS: "Here I just try to accept that sometimes I'm not going to trust myself... It's not something negative. For sure, having doubts is not nice, but I find it motivating to find new skills to get as close to the trust as possible." - Iga Swiatek


* - many Winterfest visitors realized afterward that all of Vika's Talks were centered around daily quotes from her "Deep Thought of the Day" desk calendar (a *monster* 18-month cube, so she had a *lot* to choose from -- a new Talks title was just a rip away)

Once the final "Carla Talk" had been completed, Carla walked on stage and instructed everyone to bow their heads to observe a moment of silence for "all the lost and misunderstood souls who take their single-minded devotion to a few of their favorite BSA alums (or, especially a few from our all-male sister school, ABSA) so much to heart that they convert their would-be savior's thoughts and actions (some notably philanthropic, but others also overwhelmingly selfish) to something akin to gospel, to the point of which these lost souls attempt to verbally and/or psychologically tear down and denigrate any individuals who do not place the same individual upon the sort of exalted pedestal on which *they* do in their mind, heart and way of life."

"We are all individuals," she said. "Some more talented in some areas than others, some worthy subjects of inspiration, and some clearly commendable in many of their specific words and deeds in areas of importance. But never forget that they are also simply *people*, not deities, and often have feet of clay -- and notable "blind spots" -- just like everyone else. This does not mean that they are not worthy of support even as they rebound from their worst moments, but it does mean that we cannot choose to turn a blind eye to those worst moments while also accusing others of treachery against humanity for doing no more than pointing them out. In other words, their (stuff) stinks just like everyone else's."

Then, with a wink, Carla added, "And don't be telling me that their 'perfect' diet doesn't make *that* so, either. Just remember: Don't be an asshat, as stylish as they may be."

As was often the case this Winterfest, Carla brought down the proverbial house.

As the holidays concluded, and the New Year was within sight, this winter's extra-long (and exhausting) celebration came to its own roaring conclusion.

In the World Elking Cup final, the Herders of Mongolia defeated the Yukon Malamutes in two games, clinching the Golden Horn trophy by following up a defensive 18-17 win in Game 1 (the lowest scoring Cup match since 1976 in the deep snow of Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia) with a record-breaking 111-2 victory (the biggest Cup blowout ever!) in Game 2. Mongolia's Tahar, just 16, picked up the Crystal Hoof as the top player of the tournament, cementing his name in elking lore forever hereafter.

The next day, under the bluest skies of the entire Winterfest, the grand closing ceremony took place, and with it came a remarkable first as Winterfest's traditional festive "parade of stars" was merged with the World Elking Cup's longtime event-closing "march of combatants" to produce a spectacle that one had to see to be believed.

Shoulder-to-shoulder, and ear-to-antler, the BSA star-level students of the past year walked across campus under the lights along a path lined with visitors (and some fellow students) applauding their past efforts and wishing them well in the coming year. But they weren't alone, as they were joined by the Cup players from the eight visiting elking teams *and* all the traveling elks brought by the clubs to participate in the competition (many of which quickly became favorites of both the old and new fans who watched the matches play out, and who were also able to visit the majestic beasts in a limited fashion during their stable stays).

The vision of Alona Ostapenko walking ahead of, then beside, then behind (often dodging "presents" left in her path) is one that we'll surely never forget (hopefully someone got photos of her changing facial expressions!).

The parade concluded in the center stadium area on the east campus, where all the members of the procession joined together in the midfield to congretate, converse, hug (and take selfies, of course) and make new friends, officially kicking off the festival's final stage.

The sight of the BSA stars, elkers and elks all celebrating together... well, it was quite the heartwarming -- and a bit surreal at times -- scene!

The remaining hour of the closing ceremony consisted of one final blending of the traditions, as Carl ceremonially set fire to a pine sapling, signifying the melding of the life/death credo that is said to have originated at the very birth of the elking tradition, when human and elk tentatively "agreed" to join forces in order for both to thrive during a particularly harsh winter.

It was at this moment that Carl was presented the Maa Award, bestowed upon an individual for Honorable and Effective Service in the Name of Elking, named for the Mongolian woman who is said to have personally chosen the elks to participate in the first organized elking competition ever recorded in the sport's history some 300 years ago. The silver medallion is crafted from ancient elk bone gathered from a prehistoric site in Siberia (one that Carl swears once housed his direct ancestors!).

Was that a tear we saw run down Carl's hairy cheek? Maybe. Maybe not.

Afterward, parka-wearing performers -- some sporting faux horns, some long beards, and with many raising streaming ribbons (representing the blood honorably and invariably spilled in the pursuit of elking perfection over the centuries of the ancient game) high above their heads -- performed an interpretive dance that is said to have displayed the sort of balletic grace that is capable within the sometimes-brutal contest. The highlight of the performance may have been when hundreds of children dressed as snowflakes suddenly emerged from the shadows and encircled the dancers in a flurry of activity as "Snowblind" (Trondheim Sinfonietta) played over the loudspeakers. Haunting and breathtaking! While the whole thing was often confusing, it was also quite beautiful in a weird, chaotic way (plus, we swear we saw QC again!).



The BSA's annual Winterfest concert followed, and featured several of the groups we know and love, including 3CJM ("3 Czechs, a Jew and a Muslim," this year with Shahar Peer stepping in to play bass -- we've missed her!), the Katydids (Katie Boulter, Katy Dunne, Caty McNally, Katie Swan and Katie Volynets), Mad(d)ison Ave. (Madison Brengle, Maddison Inglis and Madison Keys) and, in an eleventh-hour addition (thanks for the use of the helicopter, Maria!), The Go-Go's jumped on stage to pump out a medley of "We Got the Beat" and Robert Palmer's "Simply Irresistible."

Once the last note had been played, Carl stepped up to address the crowd -- his medallion proudly displayed on his chest -- to wrap up our otherwordly experience over the previous three-plus weeks, thanking everyone involved ("...not that Carl gave you choice") for their efforts, singling out Carla for praise (the biggest cheer of the ceremony came when an unannounced Billie Jean King walked and wordlessly placed a simple floral chaplet made of tiny white flowers and thin branches atop Carla's head to the delight of all) and declaring this World Elking Cup "the best ever, with or without Carl."

Mussolini Serious GIFfrom Mussolini GIFs

Needless to say, it may have also been *Carl's* "finest" moment, as he basked in the glow of, quite frankly, an event that he set in motion like an avalanche earlier this year. But while he took in the overwhelming blanket of appreciation and nodded his head (dare we say it, in a somewhat scary, Mussolini-esque fashion?), he seemed to notice that one member of the Regina Force delegation directly below the microphone was texting someone on his phone rather than cheering Carl on.

It was then that those of us paying close attention remembered Carl's near-fight with someone during *last* year's Winterfest for a very similar reason (a moment in which he uttered not-so-vague threats about "squishing" and using him as "bait for Carl's next elking run."). This time, though, Carla tapped Carl on the shoulder just as he began to step toward the individual with ire in his eyes.

The simple gesture snapped the spell before anything untoward could occur. Once more, Carla had saved the day.

With the cauldron still burning, there was one final act to perform. With the help of several members of the champion Mongolian squad and their Yukon counterparts, a large snowball nearly three Carls high was rolled across the field. Carl stepped from the stage, bent down and seemingly disappeared behind and beneath the monstrosity... until it suddenly began to rise as Carl lifted the entire sphere above his head. With a mightly -- and accurate -- heave, Carl tossed the giant snowball high into the air. It landed directly atop the cauldron, dousing the flame and bringing the World Elking Cup, and this year's Winterfest, to a glorious close as all cheered the feat of strength and skill as well as the sense of togetherness that had been formed during our recent time together.

As everyone exited the grounds of BSA for the final time this year, we all reminisced about the good times we'd just had, debated whether or not our re-branding should become a *permanent* thing, and wondered how we would ever be able to top this season's amazing celebration *next* year.

But we all agreed that that was a conversation for another day, as it was better to remind ourselves that this year's Winterfest had come after a trying two years in which we weren't able to enjoy each other's company over the course of the festival as we always had in the past. Even if Winterfest never surpasses the exponential growth it displayed this time around, we all promised to embrace the uncomplicated notion of being happy and thankful that -- crossing our fingers -- we had "made it through to the other side" and that we were determined to stay there.

And, thus, we give a final salute to Carla, Carl, our BSA family, the World Elking League and everyone here, there and in-between for a Winterfest that we will never, ever forget.



Wait, was that QC again?