Saturday, May 21, 2011

Wk.20- Bare Bones Backspin

Backspin is bare-boned.

Carl is here. Todd no let Carl do "Bare Bones Backspin" before Australian Open. He probably afraid Carl pick Kim to win before he did and steal his thunder. He right.

Ha! But Carl have control now and able to post "Bare Bones Backspin" HIMSELF, and can finally get rid of that picture of Carl that Todd always uses. Carl hate picture. Carl have cold that day. It why he such weird expression on face. Here REAL pic of Carl, when he was Big Man on Rock back home and no one played such tricks on Carl.

Carl eventually squish all who do Carl wrong in past. He one day squish Todd, too. Carl promise, and he tell Kim all about it once does. He and she talk yesterday after Carl travel from new chateau in French countryside to cafe in Paris and spot her and Jada enjoying the sun and coffee-flavored drink (she say she avoiding caffeine to set good example for Jada... Kim such great person).

Carl tell her he take care of Todd for her. Kim act confused at first, but know she only do to throw off scent of authorities when come looking for Todd conqueror. Carl no want her implicated, so he all right with it. Jada like Carl, too. She scream in delight from moment she see Carl until instant he leave. Obviously, she impressed by Carl and want to be just like Carl when grow up.

Carl honored to be role model. He enjoy way people on street opened path for him on his way back home, too. Ah, memories.

BRUSSELS, BELGIUM (Premier $618K/red clay outdoor)
S: Caroline Wozniacki def. Peng Shuai 2-6/6-3/6-3
D: Hlavackova/Voskoboeva d. Jans/Rosolska

STRASBOURG, FRANCE (Int'l $220K/red clay outdoor)
S: Andrea Petkovic def. Marion Bartoli 6-4/1-0 ret.
D: Amanmuradova/Chuang d. Grandin/Uhlirova

PLAYER OF THE WEEK: Caroline Wozniacki/DEN
...Caroline continue to extend big lead in categories. Fourth title leads tour in '11, and she nearly twice as many over last few years as anyone else. Carl believe she have record for most combined points for a #1, too. She even win first red clay title in Brussels, and head to Paris after SF win over Francesca Schiavone, who knocked her out in Paris last year. But she still no win slam, and no in slam final in eighteen months. Could lose #1 ranking after Paris because of it. Carl fine with it if mean Kim next #1. Todd probably making calls to lathe operators in Germany.
RISERS: Andrea Petkovic/GER & Peng Shuai/CHN
...Andrea win first title of season in Strasbourg, and first on tour since Bad Gastein in '09. Finally, she have trophy to dance around. Carl like to watch Andrea dance, especially after beat Wozniacki or anyone else Todd want to win match. Shuai finally reach '11 final in Brussels, after losing three semifinals. It her first final since '08, but she still no win first tour title (0-4 in career). She lose to Wozniacki, only woman this season with more tour wins than her.
SURPRISES: Mirjana Lucic/CRO & Stephanie Foretz-Gacon/FRA
...Lucic qualify and reach QF in Strasbourg, beating Aussies and Americans along way. Included on list: Jessica Moore, Gail Brodsky, Christina McHale and Jelena Dokic. Meanwhile, Stephanie hated on the Bondarenkos in Strasbourg. She beat Kateryna in qualifying, then Alona in main draw. She get wild card into Roland Garros. No play a Bondarenko, though... so she probably lose.
COMEBACK: Galina Voskoboeva/KAZ
...Galina qualify in Brussels, and get wins over Anne Keothavong and Irina Falconi. She beat Agnes Szavay in main draw, then win third doubles title of year with third different partner. This time, it Andrea Hlavackova. Maybe Carl should ask if want to play Mixed Doubles with him.
VETERAN: Francesca Schiavone/ITA
...Francesca hitting stride for Paris? Her semifinal in Brussels IS best result of season, and Wozniacki take three sets to defeat her there. Carl think maybe she could catch fire next week. In good way, since Carl NO LIKE FIRE!!!! But if Francesca play Kim, Kim be like water on fire. Haha. Carl funny... like George Lopez. Carl love George Lopez because Todd hate him and say he never say a funny thing in his life. Carl think Todd might be right, but has to disagree with him on principle because CARL HATE TODD!!!!!!
FRESH FACE: Alison van Uytvanck/BEL
...Alison qualify in Brussels in front of home crowd, then make WTA debut against Patty Schnyder in 1st Round. She get first WTA win. She even push Yanina Wickmayer in 7-6/6-4 match in 2nd Round. Todd mentioning her almost every week now. Carl think he probably going to try to link her to Justine in some way one of days. Typical. Kim playing, but he IGNORE her whenever he can. He even admit the other day he disappointed Kim playing in Paris. Typical. He leave out real reason he disappointed, though. Carl KNOW he just afraid she might win title and make him look stupid. That not hard, but still.
DOWN: Jelena Jankovic/SRB
...JJ down to #10 in rankings on Monday, then lose to Sofia Arvidsson in 2nd Round in Brussels. She to face Alona Bondarenko in Paris, who she lose to in slam in past. Even though Alona just back from injury, Carl worried for Jelena.

1. Bruss SF - Wozniacki d. Schiavone
This Caroline's first Top 5 win this year... but Francesca maybe no Top 5 much longer.
2. Bruss F - Wozniacki d. Peng
This Caroline title on third different surface this year. Make Shuai angry. She still looking for first on anything. Would make Carl mad, too. But Carl remember Shuai beat Kim in Stanford years ago. Carl no longer mad. Carl GLAD Caroline win. He now not like Shuai. But Carl remember Todd picked Caroline to win title. Carl hate Todd!!!! Todd puny like bug under Carl big foot!!!! Carl want to hate Caroline now, too? But Carl no want to squish her. Carl confused!!!!! Carl have headache. He need croissant!!!!
3. Bruss 1st Rd - van Uytvanck d. Schnyder
Alison Belgian. Kim Belgian, too. (Sigh.) Carl feel calmer now.
4. Bruss QF - Wozniacki d. Wickmayer
...2-0 ret.
Yanina Belgian. Carl feel mad again now!!!!! He almost cry seeing tears in Yanina eyes when she retire. Carl no like cry. He want to crush something!!!!!
5. Stras 2nd Rd - Lucic d. Dokic
Todd always sweet on Jelena, so this make Carl laugh. Carl like to laugh... even if neighbor always call authorities. Me no know how he hear Carl -- is mile away. Hmmm... Carl still wondering whether last policeman who showed up on estate is being missed yet. Maybe Carl should "visit" neighbor to make sure no more police show up. Carl thinking he might have move to London for Wimbledon.
6. Stras F - Petkovic d. Bartoli
...6-4/1-0 ret.
Marion 0-2 in finals this year. Andrea beat Caroline earlier in 2011, so Carl like this result. Todd want me to say that in season's eleven red clay tournaments, eleven different women win titles. Who cares? Carl do not.
7. Bruss SF - Peng d. Zvonareva
Vera (1-4 in semis this year) still have "getting over hump" issues. Carl understand... he feel same way about boulder he been trying to push up large hill for months.

3...Petra Kvitova, CZE
2...Victoria Azarenka, BLR

**BEST 2011 WIN PCT. IN FINALS - 3 or more**
1.000 - Petra Kvitova (3-0)
0.667 - Victoria Azarenka (2-1)

**WORST 2009-11 RECORD IN FINALS - 3 or more**
0-5...Elena Vesnina, RUS
0-3...Sara Errani, ITA
0-3...Lucie Hradecka, CZE
0-3...Lucie Safarova, CZE
0-3...Patty Schnyder, SUI

**2011 WTA SF**
4...Li Na (2-2)
4...Jelena Jankovic (1-3)
4...PENG SHUAG (1-3)

3...Iveta Benesova, CZE
3...Barbora Zahlavova-Strycova, CZE
ALSO: Katarina Srebotnik w/ 2 WTA Doubles and 1 slam Mixed title

Carl Quiz: What this picture of?

Carl with prize invention a long time ago... and number of champion picks Todd right since he picked Kim in Melbourne. Yeah, Carl know Todd picked both Wozniacki and Petkovic this weekend, but Carl look at as merciful act by Tennis Gods on him. Even Carl pick up an ant once in while and carry it to safety after Carl stomp all over his friends when they invade Carl's picnic on French countryside. And CARL HATE ANTS!!!! Not as much as Carl hate Todd, but still.

#5 Schiavone d. #17 Goerges
#2 Clijsters d. #7 Azarenka
#2 Clijsters d. #5 Schiavone

...Todd no have guts to pick Kim in Paris. He did in Australia, so why not? Oh, yeah... he blame her for long losing streak, even though she won when he pick her. Stupid. He always find excuse. Carl knew he no be able to be civil to her ALL season. Carl know he no pick her in HIS picks (he want Carl to say he posting RG preview soon, by way), so Carl do it here and laugh in Todd face when Carl right and he wrong with whatever loser he pick. I hear he talking something about picking someone who won't give him "buyer's remorse." Carl no like buying anyone. Carl prefer to drag by hair back to chateau. Either way, Todd be wrong and Carl surely be right in two weeks. Who say evolution improvement? Carl prove incorrect. Carl even learning some French. Watch...

À bientôt.

Message from Todd: Here's that more accurate picture of Carl that he hates so much.

He's such a crybaby.


Blogger Diane said...

Carl in cave, secretly watching videos of 'Pova win Rome. Carl confused. Screaming blonde make Carl's head hurt.

Sat May 21, 08:26:00 PM EDT  
Blogger Todd Spiker said...

Carl hates everybody, I think. Well, except for Kim.


Sat May 21, 10:31:00 PM EDT  

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