2009 WTA Year in Review

The time has come. (As always, thoughts and words brought to you free of charge.)

2009: THE RISE AND FALL AND RISE of Miss Serena Williams

"You should never be surprised by anything that I do." - Serena Williams, in January

The Student Council election campaign got ugly at times this year, with the individual who was considered to be the odds-on favorite to win the office of Class President often lagging behind in early poll results, and then making a concerted effort to "call out" the leader and denigrate her multiple (though comparably minor) accomplishments. As it turned out, this individual DID manage to top the exit polls on Election Day. But a unique combination ticket put together by the clever Italian contingent at Backspin Academy was able to cobble together enough combined support to overthrow the spirit of the single-candidate system and place themselves into the multi-seat of power.

Naturally, the "popular vote" winner is now demanding that changes be made in the voting system. Hmmm, maybe in 2010. After all, a former President has decided to once again throw her hat into the ring, and we can't be having these sorts of discussions EVERY year.

=STUDENT COUNCIL=
CLASS PRESIDENTS: Flavia Pennetta, Francesca Schiavone, Sara Errani & Roberta Vinci


CURRENTLY TRYING TO GET A HEARING IN THE COURT OF THE TENNIS GODS: Serena Williams
VICE PRESIDENT: Dinara Safina
PRESIDENT PRO TEMPORE: Svetlana Kuznetsova
VALEDICTORIAN: Caroline Wozniacki
SALUTATORIAN: Kim Clijsters (STILL the second-highest rated Belgian, even without you-know-who around... yet)
CLASS TREASURER: Maria Sharapova (though her unique money-counting skills were questioned this year)
SCHOOL SPIRIT COORDINATOR: Liezel Huber
ASSISTANT SCHOOL SPIRIT COORDINATOR (BY DEMAND OF Mrs. Huber): Cara Black
STUDENT/FACULTY LIAISON: Larisa Savchenko
IN ONE-YEAR DETENTION (though she's appealing her punishment, and hoping that Judge Shriver doesn't get the case): Yanina Wickmayer

"I love my job. I love hitting balls, running and jumping, chasing after the ball. I love what I do, so I think that's what keeps me motivated." - Venus Williams

Backspin Academy's humble and hardworking staff occasionally undergoes some upheavel, but the student body (which sometimes includes a few of our instructors, who pull double duty in order to show how much they care) is generally pleased with those entrusted with molding their impressionable minds like the blocks of clay that they are (or so says our lovable Ms. Jankovic... though, to be honest, she might have just been talking about FEELING like a square block of clay back in January, but we've long since agreed to simply let her speak her mind even if we sometimes don't understand some of the things she says -- it seems to work out better for all of us).

=FACULTY, STAFF, DEPARTMENT HEADS & APPOINTEES=
Co-DEANS OF STUDENTS (and part-time students): Nuria Llagostera-Vives & Maria Jose Martinez-Sanchez (though Serena vehemently protested MJMS's appointment)
GUIDANCE COUNSELOR: Piotr Wozniacki
FIRST-YEAR PROFESSOR WHO IS EVERYONE'S FAVORITE EDUCATOR... this year, at least: Mary Joe Fernandez (Serena insists that her multiple absences from MJF's class were NOT unexcused)
ATHLETIC TRAINERS: position vacant (apparently, these former staff members did a severe disservice to our lovely Miss Jankovic, so we have omitted their names out of fear of a libel suit... though it should be noted that they claim they THOUGHT they were "doing the right thing at the time")
SCHOOL NURSE: Student Vera Zvonareva (her advice to all the young girls on campus: when in Charleston, always wear protection)
INTRODUCING...: Stacey Allaster (a new hire, I hear her first class will be called "Cleaning up the Public Relations Disasters of Others 101")
ACADEMY HISTORIAN: Bud Collins (always and forever)
(GARBLED) COMMUNICATION DIRECTORS: Schlomo Tzoref & Samantha Stevenson (their young charges, Julia Glushko & Alexandra Stevenson, should listen... and learn what NOT to say and do)
ON ADMINISTRATIVE SUSPENSION FOR CONDUCT DETRIMENTAL TO THE ACADEMY: Pam Shriver (we are SO sorry... so please stop dumping out all the chocolate and waffles outside the front gate)
SUBSTITUTE TEACHER OF THE YEAR: Student Carly Gullickson (says Carly: "I was just in the right place at the right time.")
SCHOOL OF BUSINESS & MARKETING (all classes currently held off-campus): Anna Kournikova (forever in absentia)
SO LONG, FAREWELL... and pleae keep in touch: Long-time students/teachers Nathalie Dechy, Jamea Jackson, Tzipora Obziler, Virginia Ruano Pascual, Ai Sugiyama (and tell Ms. Mauresmo that she missed the party, so she needs to return in order to receive a proper send-off next semester)
R.I.P.: Leo Clijsters

*RECENTLY-APPOINTED LANGUAGE ARTS DEPT. HEADS*
UNORTHODOX RUSSIAN: Vitalia Diatchenko (we don't know how she learned to do things the ways she does, but we're intrigued)
CHINESE DEMOCRACY: Li Na, Peng Shuai, Yan Zi & Zheng Jie (currently collecting 92% of their salaries, but they're able to finally set their own schedules)
FRENCH-101: Aravane Rezai
GERMAN-101 and 102: Sarah Gronert
INTRODUCTION TO SPEED READING: Kim Clijsters (be sure to catch her lecture entitled "Planned Parenthood on the WTA Tour," with guest lecturer Lindsay Davenport, who assists Kim via e-mail)
MODERN ANCIENT JAPANESE: Kimiko Date-Krumm
CONVERSATIONAL (but not confrontational) ENGLISH: Serena Williams

CHARM SCHOOL DIRECTOR: Caroline Wozniacki


ADVANCED BULGARIAN-to-KAZAKHSTANI MATHEMATICS: Sesil Karatantcheva (for the next three years)
ANGER MANAGEMENT: Victoria Azarenka (a court-ordered appointment... apparently, she needs to learn to "walk" before she can "run">
"HOW TO MARRY INTO A NICE COUNTRY": Jarmila Groth (née Gajdosova)
PRINCIPLES OF GEOGRAPHY: Yanina Wickmayer (some of the students snidely call her class "Where in the World is Yanina WICK-mayer"... or was that Professor Shriver?)
THE THEORY OF TIME TRAVEL: we haven't hired a professor yet, but we'er interviewing prospective "educators" from NBC (although, we did talk to former NBC employee Dick Enberg... but we were too afraid that he might say something that would embarrass the Academy)
COMING THIS JANUARY!!!: Christina McHale delivers an address in our ongoing Lectue of the Month series: "The Benefits of Hydration"

"The desire is back." - Kim Clijsters, in April

"The fire within burns again." - Justine Henin, in September

Our student body is a talented crop, and always on the look-out for rewarding extracurricular activities to take up their valuable time.

=CLUB HEADS=
DRAMA CLUB: Jelena Jankovic, star of "Jelena's World (Jelenin Svet)," namesake of a far-off star and a "smile ambassador"
NUDE FIGURE MODELING: Serena Williams

TENNIS DRESS MODELING: Caroline Wozniacki (attire courtesy of Stella McCartney)
CHOIR: Vania King
FASHION/DESIGN: Venus Williams
PSYCHOLOGY CLUB: Dinara Safina & Ana Ivanovic
DEBATE CLUB/IMPROMPTU SPEECHMAKING: Laura Robson (she somewhat shirked her duties last school year, but we like the cut of her jib)
SHAKESPEARE CLUB: Elena Vesnina
SWIMSUIT MODELING III (bikinis required): Maria Kirilenko, Daniela Hantuchova & Tatiana Golovin


*"THE MANY FACES OF CAROLINE"*
[an award-winning exhibition from Miss Wozniacki]
FUN C-WOZ: in Eastbourne, with Aleksandra Wozniak
TITLE-WINNING CAROLINE: in Ponte Vedra Beach, keeping her head while Elena Vesnina was losing her's
HURTING C-WOZ: cramping at the SEC in Doha
HEART OF A LIONESS C-WOZ: triumphant at the SEC in Doha
HAPPY C-WOZ: at Flushing Meadows... Charming in the City
(Too) NICE C-WOZ: in Luxembourg, with Anne Kremer
SWEET CAROLINE: vs. Melanie Oudin at the U.S. Open, acknowledging a pro-American crowd but playing hard and hoping for people to cheer her next time out
ANGRY, HEAD-OVER-TEAKETTLED, BUT COMPOSED C-WOZ: vs. Elena Dementieva in Charleston
HUNGRY FOR EVEN MORE: in 2010?

"Everybody says the third time is the charm, but for me it's the fifth." - Victoria Azarenka, after winning her first WTA singles title in her fifth appearance in a final

=RUSSIAN CHESS CLUB=
CHAIRWOMAN: Svetlana Kuznetsova (to the victor goes the spoils)


ASSISTANT TO THE CHAIRWOMAN: Elena Dementieva (a year ago she looked great in Gold, but this year she came up a little short in grass-green)
(Still) THE NEXT BIG THING: Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova
STAR-CROSSED: Vera Zvonareva
RESURRECTED FROM LENIN'S TOMB?: Maria Sharapova
FULL OF LIFE: Dinara Safina (just not in slams)
STILL FIGHTING THE GOOD FIGHT: Nadia Petrova
TEAM LEADER: Alisa Kleybanova (according to everyone she plays doubles with)
NextGEN HORDETTES: Evgeniya Rodina, Ksenia Pervak, Ksenia Lyskina, Yana Buchina, Daria Gavrilova & Olga Putintseva

"It's my brain." - Dinara Safina

"If I keep playing like this, I can get as high as anything." - Melanie Oudin, at the U.S. Open

=JUNIOR/SENIOR PROM COMMITTEE=
PROM QUEEN: Melanie Oudin
LADY-IN-WAITING (still): Victoria Azarenka
JUNIOR QUEEN: Kristina Mladenovic
QUEEN'S COURT: Sabine Lisicki, Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova, Alexa Glatch, Magdalena Rybarikova, Sorana Cirstea, Laura Robson, Alexandra Dulgheru, Urszula Radwanska, Michelle Larcher de Brito
JUNIOR QUEEN'S COURT: Noppawan Lertcheewakarn, Heather Watson, Sloane Stephens, Christina McHale, Olivia Rogowska, Richel Hogenkamp
PARTY-CRASHERS, circa 2026: mini-Clijsters Jada and mini-Davenport Lauren

EARLY-BIRD (gets the ace?): Madison Keys, averaging over 100 mph per serve before her 15th birthday
SUDDEN WALLFLOWER: Alize Cornet
SCHEDULED PROM ADVISOR: Shahar Peer (too bad she couldn't make it through the security at the door)

"So the ball hit her body, and therefore she should have lost the point... instead of cheating." - Serena Williams, on Maria Jose Martinez-Sanchez

=CLASS FAVORITES=
MOST WELL-LIKED: Flavia Pennetta
(Still) MOST LIKELY TO SUCCEED: Anastasia Pavlyuchenkova
POWER COUPLE-NO-MORE: Chris Evert and Greg Norman
MOST COOLED-OFF RUSSIANS: The Hordette Fed Cup team
PERSONALITY PLUS: Jelena Jankovic, naturally
MOST CHARMING SMILE: Caroline Wozniacki
MOST ENDEARING HEART: Caroline Wozniacki (quite a back-to-back combination, I'd say)
QUIETEST '09 SLAM SINGLES SEMIFINALIST: Dominika Cibulkova
QUIETEST '09 SINGLES CHAMPION:Andrea Petkovic
QUIETEST (Down Under) COMEBACK:Alicia Molik
QUIETEST BACK-TO-BACK TITLES:Venus Williams (Dubai's non-debacle & Acapulco)
PERPETUAL HEARTBREAKER NO LONGER: Samantha Stosur
MOST LIKELY TO BE A FUTURE DIPLOMAT: Vera Zvonareva
MOST LIKELY TO IMPERSONATE A ROCKER: Mashona Washington, a Bronze Medalist in the Backspin Games' tearing up a hotel room competition
MOST ADMIRED: Liezel Huber
LATE BLOOMER: Melinda Czink
MAYBE NOT SO LOST A CAUSE, AFTER ALL: Agnes Szavay (fingers crossed)
HOPING TO PROVE MARRIAGE NEED NOT LEAD TO TENNIS DEATH: Bethanie Mattek-Sands
NEW/OLD KID: Jelena Dokic
SMARTEST: Samantha Stosur (singles is not selfish on the Road to Osaka)
MOST MISSED (due to injury): Tatiana Golovin, Good and Bad
MOST MISSED (by Backspin): Kim Clijsters' "clean slate" (hmmm, yeah... um, not really)
MOST MISSED (no more... soon): Justine Henin
ENDANGERED: any Wimbledon official who leaks the we-already-know-it's-true-but-you-still-shouldn't-admit-it tournament policy of giving bigger courts to the tour's most beautiful players. On second thought, he's probably the safest employee at the Club. So, make it "EXTINCT"... and rainy days at Centre Court.


FRIENDS ON THE MOVE: Caroline & Sorana
NOT FRIENDS ANYTIME SOON: Serena Williams and Dinara Safina, and Maria Jose Martinez-Sanchez, and that linesperson and...
MOST TALKED-ABOUT FASHION STATEMENT: footwear with a message

BEST SYMMETRY: Serena Williams mocks Dinara Safina's tournament titles while everyone agrees that SHE, not the Russian, is the "true #1" player on tour
WORST SYMMETRY: Serena Williams mocks Dinara Safina's "inconsequential" tournament title in Rome, while not thinking about the fact that the Russian defeated sister Venus there in the semifinals before winning that particular event
MOST TELLING SYMMETRY: Comeback Kim Clijsters wins U.S. Open... Justine Henin announces comeback soon afterward. Coincidence? Ah, lova ya, La Petit Taureau!

*HUH...?*
STARTING POINT: in February, Yanina Wickmayer is defaulted from a challenger event in Clearwater, Florida after smacking a ball that hit a linesperson. Having advanced to the singles and doubles finals, she must forfeit ranking points and prize money. She isn't suspended.
AND WE MOVE ALONG: Serena Williams talks about how a "dead person" could be fined by the WTA for skipping a tournament
WE GET THIS: Richard Gasquet is suspended for testing positive for cocaine, but has the penalty lifted when he says he simply kissed a cocaine-using girl at a Miami nightclub the night before the test. Apparently, Martina Hingis' two-year ban for a positive cocaine test came after the Swiss Miss was detected to have even less of the drug in HER system than the Frenchman did.
AND THIS: Tamira Paszek isn't suspended for undergoing a "blood enrichment procedure"
AND WHO COULD FORGET THIS?: Serena Williams makes threatening gestures toward a linesperson, resulting in a verbal abuse point penalty on match point. She is fined, but with the incident still "under investigation," she has not been handed a suspension as of the end of the '09 season.
AND, YES, EVEN THIS: An injured Caroline Wozniacki's retirement one game away from defeating Anne Kremer, right before the start of the SEC, is flagged for investigation after possible online betting irregularities... never mind the ridiculous notion that to suspect player wrongdoing would be to assume the Dane was the stupidest/most naive person on the face of the earth to think she could slide "under the radar" while retiring up a set and 5-0.
WE GET THIS: Yanina Wickmayer is suspended for a year by the World Anti-Doping Association after failing to report her whereabouts so she that she could be located in the event that she was called upon to take a drug test. No test was failed, and an appeal is underway. Yet, damage to the Belgian's reputation is a foregone conclusion.
Hmmm, WHAT AM A MISSING? Oh, yeah...: "New Starting Point": press releases, right before Wickmayer's suspension, for Andre Agassi's autobiography recount how he tested postive for crystal meth, but told a tall tale to ATP drug "investigators" and got off scott-free.
OH, NOW I UNDERSTAND... my neighbor's sins are my downfall: Though I'm not sure what it all means, or whether this little chronological rundown was necessary to make whatever the point may be.

"You're be playing Yanina WICK-mayer. (pause, after being booed by the crowd, then with faux confusion) What'd I say?" - a snide Pam Shriver, interviewing Caroline Wozniacki after her quarterfinal victory at the U.S. Open

"I'm back. I want to bring excitement back to tennis." - Jelena Jankovic, in Cincinnati

Not everything is subjective, though. G.P.A.'s and S.A.T. scores are important, too.

=HONOR SOCIETY ROLL CALL=
HARD COURT PLAYER OF THE YEAR: Elena Dementieva (by way of her pre-Oz & pre-U.S. Open results)
CLAY COURT PLAYER OF THE YEAR: Svetlana Kuznetsova
GRASS COURT PLAYER OF THE YEAR: Serena Williams
INDOOR PLAYER OF THE YEAR: Amelie Mauresmo (finally, she'll always have Paris)
FED CUP PLAYER OF THE YEAR: Flavia Pennetta

"It's really emotional to win today. What I had to go through. It's really great to have this win. I don't think a lot of people know what it means to me. It's great to be here at a slam." - a tearful Jelena Dokic, at the Australian Open, after ending her six-year long drought of grand slam main draw wins, courtesy of a whole heap o' frustration and heartbreak

"If I could I'd shove this tennis ball down your throat and kill you." - Serena Williams, at the U.S. Open

*"TELEVISION PROGRAMS & THEIR STARS"*
[courtesy of Backspin Academy's "Future Casting Directors" program]
"CSI:New York": Serena Williams
"HEROES": Shahar Peer & Andy Roddick
"the forgotten (no longer)": Justine Henin
"The Price is Right": Larry Scott
"Lost": Nicole Vaidisova
"The Young and the Restless": Ana Ivanovic
"General Hospital": Sabine Lisicki
"The View (from the frontline)": Shahar Peer
"All My Children": Lindsay Davenport
"Glee": Caroline Wozniacki
"Make Me A Supermodel": Daniela Hantuchova, Maria Kirilenko & Tatiana Golovin
"Law & Order": Mashona Washington
"10 Things I Hate About You": Kim Clijsters (all right, that's a little HARSH, guys)
"Wipeout": Dinara Safina
"So You Think You Can Dance": Martina Hingis & Monica Seles
"Cougar Town": Kimiko Date-Krumm
"Life on Mars": Jelena Jankovic
"Dr. Oz": Jelena Dokic
"Judge Judy": Yanina Wickmayer
"Accidentally On Purpose": The American Fed Cup Team
"America's Got Talent": Vania King
"Survivor": Venus Williams

Thanks for your contribution, ladies. You're almost and long-winded as our Academy President.

"I just thought, 'My eyes! My innocent eyes!'." - Serena Williams, talking about her match which was interrupted by a streaker

=BACKSPIN ALL-STAR TEAMS=
*ALL-BEAUTIFUL*
Venus at the All-England Club, even as runner-up
=============================
"Believe" on Little MO's shoes
=============================
The U.S. Open on ESPN, as it turned out
=============================
Caroline in the Desert... through pain comes wisdom, and maybe one day even legend

=============================
Monica Seles in the Hall of Fame
=============================
Maria Sharapova's serve in Tokyo (Supernovic Hope springs eternal)
=============================
The unapologetic boldness of Serena Williams
=============================
The presence of the WTA, the most successful and far-reaching women's sports organization in the world, in the Middle East
=============================
Flavia Pennetta in the spotlight
=============================
Jelena Dokic embracing Australia after all these years, and having the feelings reciprocated
=============================
Jelena Jankovic's idea for "air-conditioned shoes"... though I suspect they might hinder her movement, and we surely don't need to go through that sort of trial yet again
=============================
A roof on Centre Court, and Laver Arena
=============================
U.S. Open Series TV ads featuring personal moments and player backstories
=============================
Day 7 on Laver Arena
=============================
Victoria Azarenka's desire
=============================
Liezel Huber's joy
=============================
Britain's surprising "Lass Brigade" (official motto: "The Cheekier the Better"
=============================
Venus Williams' overall leadership performance on the Players Council
=============================
Serena Williams' "Are you staring at my titles?" t-shirt. The Spirit of Sania lives!
=============================

"Eating too much chocolate out of depression from not being allowed to play for India." - Shikha Uberoi, an American citizen playing under the Indian flag, saying what she'd been doing after the India tennis federation ruled that she could not represent the nation in Fed Cup play

*ALL-UGLY*
The Dubai Debacle
=============================
Tennis on NBC
=============================
The decision to train in Mexico during the offseason
=============================
Maria Sharapova's serve before Tokyo
=============================
AnaIvo's "year after-plus"
=============================
Serena Williams' unfortunate thoughtlessness when she's angry
=============================
Venus Williams toeing the party line in Dubai
=============================
Victoria Azarenka's temper
=============================
The growing number of Not-Ready-for-Prime-Time players populating prime time in the women's game
=============================
No roof on Ashe Stadium
=============================
Sad to say, Monica Seles' dancing abilities on "Dancing with the Stars"
=============================
Anne Keothavong's relationship with the Lawn Tennis Association
=============================
Vera Zvonareva essentially ruining an on-the-verge-of-great season with one wrong step in South Carolina
=============================

"(She's) had a 'great' year. (pause) She won Rome and Madrid. (loud cackle)" - Serena Williams, sarcastically pointing out then-#1 Dinara Safina's "qualifications" for sitting atop the rankings

=ALL BACKSPIN WANTS BETWEEN NOW AND CHRISTMAS 2010=
For Comcast to buy NBC, the powers-that-be to re-think the network's spending, and then decide to drop its grand slam tennis coverage.
=============================
FINALLY... that long-awaited Sharapova vs. Vaidisova match.

Sorry, it's become something of a tradition to include that one here. But times change, so I'll now settle for more Sharapova vs. Azarenka clashes. The two we saw in 2009 were enough to make anyone wish for more.
=============================
For things to happen during the 2010 season that'll allow me to finally use up some of those Sarah Palin jokes I've been banking the last few months. Some things just shouldn't be forced upon an unsuspecting public without warning and/or reason, you know. Ah, that felt good. Well, at least I can cross that minor crack off the list.

And, no, "Mrs.-I'm-a-Governor-Wait-No-I'm-Not, but you-betcha-I'll-think-I-should-be-President in 2012," I wasn't saying that any of the minors in your household are on crack. Just because your husband's name is Todd, doesn't mean I'm ready to go "snowmachine" riding with the Palin clan. Thank the Tennis Gods. (Yes, Sarah, I KNOW you think that was blasphemous.)

Okay, that's two... or is it three?
=============================
More Kichenok twins!
=============================
An NCAA singles championship for Georgia Bulldog Chelsey Gullickson
=============================
A comeback from Justine Henin.



Thanks, Santa. Would it be greedy to ask for at least one grand slam title for La Petit Taureau, too?
=============================
To see Yanina Wickmayer on the court. Playing. Even if unsuspecting linespeople and Pam Shriver might have to watch their backs in moments of Belgian disgust.
=============================
For Melanie Oudin to keep the smile (and look of determination) on her face.
=============================
For Sabine Lisicki to stay healthy.
=============================
For the WTA to not be given a belated "mulligan" in Dubai due to the current debt crisis in the U.A.E. Too easy.
=============================
For injuries to any of the former-or-current world singles #1's to derail what very well could be the most competitive and fascinating WTA season... well, ever.
=============================
A season without incessant handwringing about the decibal level of certain players' grunts/squawks/squeals/squeaks/screams or whatever new noise some young lady will invariably come up with by this time next year.
=============================
A little more Amelie, just for old time's sake.
=============================
For Queen Chaos to fully get her groove back.
=============================

"The more you know, the worse you sleep." - Dinara Safina

Amen, sister.

Whew! If you made it this far, congratulations. Hopefully, there was something here for everyone. If not, well, it wasn't for a lack of trying.

To be continued in 2010... hmmm, how are we saying that, by the way? "Twenty Ten," "Two-Thousand Ten," or, in shorthand, "Oh-Ten?" I guess we'll find out next year. Anyway, as I was saying, to be continued in 2010...

Res Ipsa Loquitur. All for now.



PAST YEARBOOKS: 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008

2009 SEASON REVIEW EDITIONS OF WTA BACKSPIN:
...Revolving Doors - 2010 WTA Guide Preview
...Regional Honors & '10 All-Intriguing Team and Market Tips
...Backspin Awards
...Ms.Backspin: A T-E-A-M Effort
...WTA Yearbook